Akuen
by Miss Artemis
Summary: AU A single factor can change the lives of multiple people without even really knowing it. So when Kaien unexpectedly falls ill, it is not him fighting for Miyako's honor, but Rukia... Byakuya x Rukia x Kaien
1. Chapter 1

Akuen

*Meaning = Unfortunate Love*

SUMMARY: Fate, destiny and time are all fickle, inconsistent variables. Actions, words, ideas and feelings can change the lives of multiple people without even really knowing it. And so, when Kaien is unexpectedly ill with the flu, it won't be him that will fight for Miyako's honor…but rather Rukia.

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Prologue: From the Bottom Up

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Rukia always believed that the dark, impenetrable hole located deep within the recesses of her heart would never adequately be filled. It was always there, ever since she could walk, move, see, talk, and interact with others. A void consuming all the happiness she strived to grasp on to from her Rukongai friends and family from the orphanage and from simple pleasures such as climbing up oak-scented trees, lying in sweet, flower-encased fields, and standing within the shores of the local river while capturing lotus and lily flowers that littered the stream…It consumed so greedily that whenever Rukia paused for just an instant…there was nothing left. Nothing but darkness, nothing but emptiness…nothing but a dull ache that resonated throughout her being like a live parasite wrapped tightly around her chest.

Being in nature was the only way to momentarily stop the ache. When she was younger, the ache wasn't so bad. It wasn't until she wondered why she only knew her first name: Rukia, that she wondered why she didn't have any parents, any siblings, or even a last name. The elderly couple that ran the orphanage were too kind, loving, and compassionate, too sympathetic to tell her straight out: "I'm sorry, Rukia, but you don't have a family."

-

Rukia thoughtfully gazed at the small, rushing creek before her knees, the melancholy trickle of the water soothing her.

-

There was no evidence, no proof to solidify any claims to having a family, to having any kind of relation. No aunts, no uncles, no cousins, nothing. Maybe that was the reason. She hated not knowing. She hated having nothing but the clothes on her back, her first name, and the noisy orphanage with dozens of other attention-seeking children. The hole, though microscopic, slowly began to grow.

Children her age never really took any interest in her, not really. And strangely, she didn't really know why, either. She liked trying to skip stones like any other average Rukongai street-rat. She liked wrestling and having fake "shinigami versus hollow" fights. She liked to act tough and macho like the boys. And she liked flowers and cute, fluffy little creatures like any other girl. She liked looking decent enough and usually always took a bath at the river every night to keep away the daily sweat, grime, and stench. She liked flowers and she liked to play house like the other girls. So why didn't anyone invite her to play by the riverside or to create mischief? She never really understood. The younger kids looked at her with a light curiosity that would always give her a fleeting sense of hope that maybe just maybe she would make a friend. Mercilessly, the hope once slowly budding into a beautiful Sakura blossom, distinguished itself and was sucked in to the black hole that fervently extended itself as she watched, helplessly, as the kids her age took them away with false whispers.

"_Don't go near her, there's just something not right."_

"_She's too quiet, kind of suspicious if you ask me."_

"_Stuck up is what she is! She thinks she's better than anyone!"_

The pain, the bitterness, the hate for herself as a person and the hate for the children that she sought approval from so earnestly forced her to leave the orphanage at the tender age of seven. Wandering around the polluted streets of Inuzuri, Rukia felt inextricably lonely. Elderly, hate-filled men worked as vendors – they, she knew, didn't care if a child would waste away unless they had money to give them. Amongst the poor, desecrated hierarchy, as the saying went: "Every man for himself" was taken literally. Gangs of outcasts, ruffians, and bandits never lasted too long due to backstabbing and constant fights for power. Poverty limited kindness to others for cleanliness, food, and shelter was extremely hard to come by. Life was hard; Rukia learned the hard way when driven to the point of starvation and she had no money to pay for food. She could never forget the condescending, sneering attitude of the vendor who had refused to even give her one of his apples. She had done everything she could: she bargained, she bribed, and she pleaded. In result? Nothing. Instead, she received an ugly, putrid purple bruise on her cheek when the vendor slapped her and shrieked at her to scram.

Humiliated, lonely, scared, and hungry, Rukia felt the void get ten times bigger everyday she wandered within Inuzuri district and nothing to bring her any light. It wasn't until a day later when she passed out from three days without eating that she broke away to primitive instincts. She stole. She schemed, she played others, she used other lonely kids to help her survive. The hole only got bigger. Sure, she survived – that was good thing, she supposed. But was it worth it? Where was the joy? Each dreary day dragged on forever. She still didn't have any friends, even if she was polite and courteous when she joined other kids in a scheme to steal food from an unsuspecting vendor at the crowded market. She didn't have anything worthwhile, nothing to fill up the void that was sucking up anything and everything. Rukia never felt as close to crying as she ever did.

But she didn't cry. She couldn't. She a street-rat of Inuzuri, one of the worst districts of Rukongai besides Kusajishi that was swarming with thugs and rivaling gangs – she simply wasn't permitted to show any signs of weakness. Her heart was hard and as cold as the hardest limestone. Everyone was in the same situation, she was no different. In fact, others would have reprimanded her – she was lucky enough to still be alive and that should be enough.

But it was never enough, not for her. She wanted more; maybe it was selfish of her, but it was the truth. She wanted more than the destiny of a scrounger, of a person that was sniffed at with distain and the accusation and judging eyes that implied without having to be said through frowning lips that dirt could be considered better than even she.

She wanted more. She wanted the impossible. _She wanted a family_.

Grow up, people would tell her. Don't be stupid, kids her age and above would tell her bitterly. That would be nice, but I don't think it's possible, the younger kids would tell her sadly, dejectedly.

Yeah, well fuck them.

Continuing on day by day, Rukia continued to live and wander by herself with no distinct place to call home. One night she might stay at the docks by the river, the next out in the fields on the outskirts of town, and if she was lucky, she might manage to find a safe house for strangers seeking a place to stay with a roof over their heads if even for one night.

Life was a pain in the ass and Rukia pondered for more times than she could count, if it was worth it.

It wasn't until another two years later that Rukia discovered, that yes, living was worth it.

In the form of four boys, all of them roughly the same age as her, give or take a couple years. Especially the one with the vivid red hair and cinnamon eyes.

It had been like any other day: an azure sky filled with white, fluffy clouds, a bright and shining sun, and a nice, small spring breeze. And like always, she was starving, always starving, always thirsty. Always wanting more. The hole once so small and insignificant, consumed her so that she felt like those "hollows" she heard about, the ones with terrifying animal masks and holes in their chests…similar to the one she had. Pondering on which stand to steal from or which person to pick-pocket from, Rukia had been passing a shady alleyway when she heard them.

"YOU FUCKING LITTLE BRATS! GET YOUR ASSES BACK HERE! THIEVES!"

"H-HOW DID HE FOLLOW US?! I THOUGHT HE WAS FOLLOWING TENCHI!"

"JUST RUN HARDER!"

"BUT THESE ARE SO HEAVY!"

"JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU! I'LL _KILL_ YOU!"

"**RUN!"**

What she did next caught her by surprise. She ran towards the frightened boys that each carried a large jar of unknown substance. The boys gasped, startled at seeing a small, lithe figure running towards them at a surprisingly fast pace. Terrified eyes changed to confusion when she ran past them, only to slide tackle the skinny old vendor from underneath his feet. The vendor gave a loud, irritating screech as he landed face-first into the ground before letting out a pathetic moan. Grimacing at the extra dirt that now marred the outside of her leg, Rukia quickly got to her feet, adrenaline pumping through her body. Turning around, Rukia blanched when seeing the three shocked and awed boys standing still and staring at her. _What the hell-!_

"Why are you standing there!? Run while you've got the chance!"

Her yell seemed to bring them out of their surprise. Nodding, they turned around and began running. The boy with the crimson hair tied up in a ponytail, glanced back at her and blanched as well.

"Well, come on!"

His cinnamon eyes met her amethyst ones.

The hole stopped growing. And Rukia, in that instant, felt as if she was a part of something.

Nodding, she followed him.

The boy with red hair: Renji, Abarai Renji was his name. And she knew, somehow she knew, that he would become her best friend.

The first thing she learned about him was that he was easy to tease. No more than three minutes in talking with her one-on-one for the first time after following them to their "secret hide out," she had him blushing, spitting mad, and sulking in no time flat.

The second thing she learned about him was that he was very competitive and didn't like to be out-beaten. He always got annoyed when she did something better than him and their small circle of friends paid more attention to her; but secretly, Rukia knew that deep down, Renji didn't really mind it as much as he showed.

The third thing she learned about him was that he did indeed have a soft side that she thought was impossible for someone such as them, kids living on their own in a cold, unforgiving world of the poor and forsaken. For her birthday (even though she told them that she didn't know her birthday, they assigned her one anyway), Renji and the boys surprised her with a new outer kimono: it was a dark purple that almost matched her eyes with a plain, lotus flower stitched on the side. She loved it and told them so, the warmth and happiness, the feeling of having friends and family when thought impossible and laughable, made her feel so grateful.

The fourth thing she learned about him was that he, like the other four boys in their knit-tight circle, believed her family…and she couldn't have been happier.

For years they continued in joy and content, the once oppressive and seemingly lifeless world now opened up to laughter and games. Fishing in the river, daydreaming together, stargazing together, gathering around the fire at night together, playing games in the fields together, stealing together, helping each other, being competitive with each other…She never wanted it to end.

One dismal, dreary September day shattered it at the loss of Yuki.

The pain of losing a brother, a playmate, a friend…was indescribable and Rukia for the first time, cried. He had died from infection due to a stab wound from a vendor. He had claimed that he was okay, that they only had to bandage it. In truth, it didn't look that deep. They worked with the best they had, scrubbing soiled clothes in the river as best as they could before using them to clean the wound and wrapping it as best as their inexperienced hands could. They gave him the best of their stolen goods, and tried even harder to give him fresh water but in the end…it didn't matter. He died a week later.

Gradually and slowly, their once close-knit circle began to decrease.

Jinshi died from tuberculosis a decade later.

Pakku died from the same disease not more than five months later.

Nakakiko died from poverty and sickness in general.

And in the end, it was only her and Renji.

The hole grew bigger at each death that consumed her family. Renji was all she had left now.

Rukia didn't want Renji to leave her, and she didn't want to leave him. Without having to ask him, she could tell, just by looking into his eyes, that he felt the same. All that they had left was each other. And they didn't want to lose that, ever.

She thought over their options and knew them to be very slim. Each district was different, but overall were thick with poverty and sickness. The only place suitable for living was the royal family district where the normal soul nobles dwelled liked the Kasumi-Ooji family and there was no way that she or Renji would be able to live in such a place, considering their heritage (or lack there of).

Thus, there was only one option left and, Rukia had concurred, wasn't too bad. To become a shinigami.

Standing before their friends' graves, overlooking the nearest district close to the luxurious and legendary Seireitei walls, Rukia presented her idea to an equally melancholy Renji.

"Let's become shinigami."

"…All right."

-

Rukia shifted in her cramped position, twisting her legs so that instead they were placed before her, bent and just a little ways from the small, trickling stream. Picking up a fallen leaf, Rukia took her fingers and slowly ripped apart the green vegetation with slow precision; the wind ruffled her raven hair.

-

When they attended the Shinigami Entrance Exam and both succeeded in entering the Academy, it was just like in the Rukongai district. They relied on each other and depended on the other. Due to their upbringing, they couldn't read or write and in result, were on the receiving end of snobby, noble students who laughed at their illiteracy. They didn't belong there, they said. Go back to Rukongai where you belong, they ordered. She must have spread her legs in order to get in, the males sneered.

Renji broke all of their noses for that last comment before she was able to pull him away. She had to endure his heated, furious ranting for hours before giving way to almost-tears.

They didn't want to go back – they both knew this. And there was no way one of them was going to fail and get kicked out. So together, the both of them stood up late at night, learning the alphabet from a children's hornbook, learning to write, to use the sumi brush and ink pallet, to read, and to understand grammar. If one understood something the other felt was harder to grasp, they helped the other through analogies until they understood. It was the same for kidou and swordsmanship. Renji was _horrendous_ at executing spells and Rukia did her best to help him connect better with getting his reiatsu to flow and work at his command. Rukia herself was _pitiful_ at swordsmanship and the both of them stayed late after school with permission in one of the school's dojos where Renji helped her with her swings and movements.

Just like before when Rukia gained her first Rukongai family, everything was great, wonderful even. Through the taunts, the jeers, and the distain from other students, the two of them like in Rukongai, pulled through with each other. They had fun oversleeping within their shared barracks on the Academy campus and rushing hell-bent to school while griping at each other. They ate lunch together on the roof where no one would find them and they would reminisce and talk about their classes. They would continue to work together during break times and lunch to further their reading and writing skills as well as switching and comparing notes on assignments. Rukia would cheer Renji on in kendo class, feeling nothing but victory when Renji would defeat his opponent and earning grudging respect from the students. And she would feel nothing but pride, satisfaction, and joy when Renji would loudly congratulate her when she would perform a kidou spell flawlessly where as many others struggled.

The void in her chest stopped moving completely and Rukia, for the second time in her life, felt content.

But it only lasted for a year.

The end of the year exams were the precedent for future enrollment in classes next year. First year Shinigami Academy students were all in the same class; the end of the year exams at the end of the year were to help the teachers and the taichous in the Gotei 13 find the ripe, juicy apples from the bruised, inadequate ones, the ones with the most potential. Rukia knew for certain that her swordsmanship skills sucked, despite Renji's immense and helpful hints and instruction. She hadn't lasted more than a minute before being overpowered and crushed into the wall behind her. The only thing she felt absolutely certain about were her kidou skills.

It still came as a shock to her when they both learned that Renji would be in the advanced class when they discovered his navy blue uniform and she pulled out her red one. A sting of disappointment rang through her. Truthfully, she was expecting it, waiting for it. Although she had better control of her reiatsu than Renji ever since they were kids, her skills as a shinigami, she was quick to learn, were mediocre at best. And for some selfish reason that she could not explain or find an excuse for, she felt somewhat cheated. She helped Renji train and meditate for _hours_. She explained step after step of what his reiatsu should feel like when performing certain spells, giving him precious tips on how to better grasp control of his reiatsu. It was because of her help that he moved on to advance classes; could his kidou be that more improved than before that they deemed him worthy enough to be placed in the advanced? Or was it solely based on his natural skill at the sword?

Or maybe she was just that stupid and pitiful for not succeeding where Renji did.

Either way she had no one else to blame except for herself, and she hated it.

"Hey, cheer up, Rukia! It's probably just a fluke! You'll see! Your sword skills aren't that bad, you just need more experience, more drive. Hey, by the end of the year, we'll have your sword skill so good, you'll be in the advanced class for sure! Besides, Rukia, nothing will really change. We'll have different classes, but we'll still see each other! It won't be that bad!"

_You're a liar, Renji…_

They saw each other before, during lunch, and after the first couple of weeks, but Rukia knew, she just _knew_, just as she _knew_ the moment she saw him decades ago that they would be best friends that now, she _knew_ they were slowly growing apart. Her classes weren't as fun as they used to be and she mourned the lost of her best friend's eccentricity and positive attitude and his spunkiness…and yet he seemed to be very happy, didn't seem to miss her. He raved on and on about his classes, about his teacher and about what he was learning. Several times he tried to teach her what he was being taught, but the material they were covering now was material her class wouldn't look over until a little past half of the year! Eventually, Renji stopped trying to teach her…and she didn't ask him to. One day at lunch, he surprised her by talking about these two people that he met in his kendo and kidou classes: Kira Izuru and Hinamori Momo. As if it weren't bad enough, the hole got bigger and bigger. The loneliness, the sense of no direction – those horrid feelings that she hadn't felt since she was nine came flooding back in an instant.

Renji was gone. He didn't think so, but she knew. He was. He was out of her reach.

She cried in her pillow throughout the night, her heart that wasn't yet consumed by the void jerking and crying in pain as she mourned the last death to her Rukongai family. The cloth of the pillow that muffled her sobs as well as the loud, saw-grinding snores coming from Renji beneath her in their bunk bed kept her sadness from waking him up.

When he questioned with concern about the red puffiness in her eyes the next morning, she made the excuse that she didn't get much sleep as she thought about that day's kendo exam (in reality she had forgotten about it until that moment). Her heart felt sliced in two when the boy – no, the man with crimson red hair and cinnamon red eyes gave her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and left it at that.

In the next coming months, he continued to fade day by day, attending less of their lunches on the rooftop in favor of eating with his two new friends, Kira and Hinamori in the food court. He would stay after school to spar with his fellow kendo classmates and rarely asked her for help with kidou anymore, instead going to Hinamori since she was in his class.

Rukia knew he didn't mean it, didn't mean to ostracize her. At one time the most pivotal point and center of his life, Rukia was reduced to nothing but a memory. He didn't mean it and she knew that. But it didn't stop it from hurting any worse than it did.

She didn't bother going to him for swordsmanship lessons anymore and instead allowed herself from time and time again to be slammed into the floor, gaining bruises and being the center of mocking whispers. When will she learn, they wondered. She makes the same mistakes time and time again, they pointed out. She just isn't made to become a shinigami, they concluded.

Rukia, in those moments, wanted nothing more than to go back to Rukongai and live the rest of her extremely long spiritual life in solitude and the venomous black hole that permeated the spot where her heart, once kept alive by Renji and his friendship, lied in decay. The only thing that keeps her from dropping out is the fear of feeling that painful hunger in her stomach and the fear that she might not eat that night.

Two years later in her third year at the Shinigami Academy, the entire course of her life changed.

Charge. Battle cry. Thrust. Feint to the right, change to the left. Duck. Swipe. Thwack. Pain. Stumble. Eyes widen. THWACK!

Falling harshly to the ground, the sensei goes on to the next student without another glance. Biting her lip, Rukia ignores the snickers and exasperated sighs and returns to her seat. It's hopeless.

At the end of class, Rukia walked down the hallway, maneuvering herself amongst the mingling and walking students, her left arm twitching in pain from the swing her sensei gifted her with.

"Don't the cherry blossoms just look divine, Akari?" A pair of girls walked by Rukia and took a glance out one of the many windows lining the eastern wall to the front court yard.

Walking to a window, Rukia gazed almost hypnotically at the cherry blossom trees that were planted amongst the cement pathways. The lush, green, and nicely trimmed lawn accentuated the lovely light pink shade of the blossoms that bloomed and were blown away gently by the wind, raining upon the students that walked underneath their branches. Feeling as if someone's eyes were on her, Rukia glanced down at the walkways to find students sitting on benches and talking with each other, laughing without a care in the world. Glancing down at the bench two stories beneath her, Rukia took in the empty bench to find a pile of books accidentally deserted on one end.

Books…Shimatta, she forgot her books in the classroom. Sighing, Rukia turned back from where she came.

The next day, she was a little more than surprised when her kendo-sensei asked her to hang back after class. A good case of "oh damn" began to well up inside of her. We were wrong to accept you into the Academy, she knew he would say; We've tried to give you time, thinking that all you need is confidence and experience, but when it comes down to it you're just not cut out. I'm afraid you'll have to leave.

Oh, Kami, no! She didn't want to leave! She didn't want to experience the hunger, the starvation, the thirst, the hopelessness…never again! Please, anything but that…She didn't know if she could handle it.

Instead, she is surprised and confused even more when a line of elderly, very finely dressed men in robes of satin and of the finest silk with the most intricate of designs, walked into the room, all excluding the air of arrogance and superiority. A man who looked to be in his early, maybe mid-twenties, walked behind them in a just as intricate and beautifully made white robes of status, along with an ancient and traditional chest plate and hair ornament. Rukia's eyes widened as she look at the man's hair ornament. Silver and shiny, gleaming brightly against every angle the sun shined upon, the ornament parted his midnight, smooth hair with two hair clasps on the side and three clasps on top, dividing his bangs. The kenseikan. Only one family held the tradition in which the head of the family wore the kenseikan…

"_Did you hear? Kuchiki-taichou is coming to check over the Shinigami Academy! Can you believe it?"_

"_His zanpaktou is legendary."_

"_As well as his speed."_

"_The Kuchiki Clan is above else the most prominent of the four noble houses! They're loaded!"_

"_Every head of the Kuchiki Clan has been a taichou! Is the sixth squad their unclaimed territory?"_

The Kuchiki Clan…Rukia wondered why they were here, and more importantly: why was she here with them? Did she do something unspeakably wrong?

"Rukia," her kendo-sensei began, "These are the Kuchiki elders and of course, Kuchiki Byakuya-sama, taichou of the sixth division squad of the Gotei 13. They wish to speak with you. Kuchiki-taichou, this is one of my students, Rukia. She just started the Academy about two years ago."

A moment of silence rang throughout the room before Rukia, blushing lightly, bowed forward lowly.

"Ohayo. It is a pleasure to meet you Kuchiki-taichou, Kuchiki elders."

Standing straight, Rukia gulped slowly as Kuchiki Byakuya walked forward until he stood before her and glanced down at her. For a moment, her nonexistent heart quivered within the void that consumed it. His face like many girls swooned and squealed over, was perfection. High cheek bones, smooth pale skin, no blemishes, no freckles, finely arched eyebrows, silky black hair, nice thin lips, and the deepest pair of indigo eyes she had ever seen. He was certainly handsome.

But his eyes, Rukia bit her lip before undoing the action for it was a sign of weakness, a sign of insecurity. They were so cold, so emotionless, so stoic. They were like sheets of glacier-cut ice and dipped in dye. They were the kind of eyes that could cut you down with a single glance without even trying, they were the kind of eyes that intimidated others and had stared down countless enemies. They were emotional weapons.

"Vayashi-san," the gravelly tone of the head Kuchiki elder rang throughout the silent room and shocking Rukia to look at the man, tearing her gaze from the silent, rock-solid man before her. "Could you give us some privacy?"

"Oh! Hai, hai! Of course! My apologies. I shall come back in an hour. It was a pleasure to see you Kuchiki elders, Kuchiki-taichou. I'll see you tomorrow, Rukia."

_Oh no…_Rukia couldn't help but think as her kendo-sensei left the room, sliding the shoji doors firmly shut. _Don't leave me!_

"Now let's get straight to business." The head Kuchiki elder declared, bringing forth Rukia's attention once again. "Rukia, we, as well as Byakuya-sama, wish to adopt you into the Kuchiki family as his sister."

…_What?_ It took everything within her not to let her jaw slacken in surprise.

"N-Nani? Doshite?"

"Do you have a last name?"

Rukia was surprised at the sudden deep, smooth baritone that entered the uncomfortably silent classroom. Turning to before her, Rukia found herself staring at the Kuchiki Clan leader; his face was passive, giving no hint of interest or intrigue.

"I…" Her eyes dropped to her sock-clad feet. "I don't have a last name. I've only ever known my first."

"Do you have any family?"

"No. I grew up in an orphanage ran by an elderly couple. They said that –"

"Where did you live before coming to the Shinigami Academy?"

"I…Inuzuri, the 78th District of Rukongai, Kuchiki-taichou."

Kuchiki Byakuya opened his mouth once again, ready to ask another question, when he stopped. His mouth closed and he glanced up to look at the doors behind her with the ever nonchalantly calm mask. Heavy footsteps thudded against the wooden flooring, vibrating underneath her own feet. Louder…louder…closer…closer…

BAM!

Rukia swung her head around, her hair whipping around her face and her cheeks, her amethyst eyes wide with shock as she saw a familiar shock of crimson hair in the doorway.

"Rukia! You won't believe what I'm hearing! Is it true that -!"

Renji stopped, his chest still ballooning as he realized there were more occupants in the room.

An awkward silence followed his loud entry, stretching onward until the head Kuchiki elder turned to Rukia once more. "We hope to hear a favorable response by tomorrow. Excuse us."

Without another word, the Kuchiki elders, followed by Byakuya, walked past Renji, eyes set forward and heads held arrogantly tall, backs painstakingly straight. Scratching his head in bewilderment as he watched the famed Kuchiki stalk away, Renji turned when Rukia whispered in question,

"Renji? What are you doing here?"

Renji ran forward with a smirk until he stood before her, "You dumb ass, I just told you! Is it true about the rumors? Does the Kuchiki family really want to adopt you?"

Rukia bit her lip. "…Hai, but –"

"WOW!" he cheered in excitement. "It's true! My God, you're so lucky Rukia! What do you think the food would taste like? Since their nobles, it MUST be better than average. And think of the drinks! People will be bowing to you, serving you; MAN I'm so jealous!"

He slapped his left hand onto her shoulder and jokingly jabbed at her, "Oi! You better not forget about all those times I saved your sorry ass back in the past, ya hear? Like that one time at the market with the vendor who sold those stupid Chappy suckers you just had to have; and that one time –"

"You…You want me to accept their proposal?"

"Eh?" Renji stopped rambling, looking down at her with his strong, straight-forward cinnamon-maroon eyes. "Well of course I want you to accept, Rukia! What kind of dunce would you be if you didn't!? The Kuchiki family is amazing! I haven't seen their estate but the rumors say it's the largest and the most complex as well as the most beautiful estate in Seireitei when concerning with the other noble houses. Rukia, you'd have everything you've ever wanted! You'll never go hungry, you'll be taken care, and you'll finally have your family! Won't that be something!?"

_But…I wanted to have my family with you. You're my family, Renji…_

Casting her eyes downward, Rukia tried to stifle the tears, the hot, irritating sting in the back of her eyes. The dark hole grew even bigger, consuming hatred, bitterness and sadness. Gently, she placed both of her hands on his thick, strong wrist; Renji stopped talking and stared down at her in confusion. Swallowing a sob that wanted to be released, Rukia, with tears outlining the edge of her eyelashes, placed his hand and arm away from her and back at his side.

"Rukia…"

"S-Saaryonora!" Rukia managed to whisper out before sprinting passed him, her haori and hakamas flapping around her and her hair swishing and bobbing in every direction. She internally hoped with all her might that he didn't see the tears that escaped…but she knew, like always, that she was wrong. It was most likely that he saw.

He didn't follow her, and she ran until her legs couldn't take it and her lungs burned with the exercise and her tears.

Why didn't you chase after me, Renji? Why? I didn't want you to want me to go! Why didn't you tell me no?!

-

"Stupid Renji," Rukia muttered darkly, casting away the remnants of the leaf she destroyed before tucking her legs to her chest, her chin settled on her knees. The sunlight filtered through the swaying branches above her and created small rainbows on the glistening, moving water. Unbidden, a smile graced her lips.

-

The next morning, she signed the legal documents, confirming her changed status from a commoner, to nobility of the highest caliber. Rukia was ordered to no longer stay and attend the Shinigami Academy and would instantly try out for a seating within her assigned division within the Gotei 13 in the next coming days.

As she walked away, Rukia could feel the dozens of eyes peering resentfully at her, hating her, bitterly at her, accusingly. Looking up at her new "nii-sama," Rukia couldn't help but feel, and know for certain, that she made the wrong decision by accepting. Yes, she would be treated as royalty. Yes, she would have the best of care, best of food, fresh, clean water, a warm and soft futon, and a roof over her head. Yes, she would be given the finest of clothes. But she wouldn't be getting a family, not any time soon – probably never she decided as she took in the sudden cold disregard sent her way by the Kuchiki elders the further away they got from the Shinigami Academy.

When arriving at the luxurious estate, Rukia was required a meeting with them in the conference hall. Her nii-sama said nothing, gave no reassurance, didn't even glance at her before making his way, presumably, to his room. His footsteps were light and well-focused.

You may be a Kuchiki now but know this: you will ALWAYS be a Rukongai street-rat.

Byakuya-sama was insistent about you and we'll take his word for it, but don't you DARE think about disgracing the name of Kuchiki!

You're nothing but a disgrace! Know your place within the family and things will go much smoothly.

It'll take a lot of effort, but we'll refine you to the best of our abilities. Before we allow you to enter the Gotei 13, much less be presented to Ukitake-taichou and his division for your seat-examinations, you are to attend etiquette lessons. Even if you AREN'T a true Kuchiki, we'll make you LOOK like a real Kuchiki.

And by the way, don't embarrass us when you do go and take your test. The Kuchiki family is only known for unquestionable talent. Don't make us regret listening to Byakuya-sama.

The House of Kuchiki, she learned fairly quickly, was a cold and distant family. The only ray of sunshine in the luxurious, but cold estate were her personal maids that nii-sama appointed her. The two young girls and elderly woman were all from Rukongai and they were quick to sympathize and console her when she came close to crying and breaking down from the constantly conveyed and implied insults and critique.

You're doing it wrong. Straighten your back, you look like a monkey! Fix your hair! Straighten your clothes! You're not pouring the tea right! Who was the third Kuchiki Clan leader? You're hopeless!

They were the only people giving her strength to continue on through the next day and for that, Rukia was grateful towards her nii-sama for that small, solitary act of kindness. Besides at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, Rukia never saw her nii-sama that much, and when she did, he hardly acknowledged her with only a small, curt nod of the head before passing onward to his destination.

Rukia wondered for the nth time why he would want her to be adopted into his family as his sister if he was barely going to acknowledge her? From what she knew of families, there was supposed to be affection, love, understanding, and unity. She had enviously watched siblings laugh and joke with each other back at the Academy, watching out for each other. The family she once had with Renji was exactly as she pictured it: affection, unity, and a sense of comradeship. They watched each other's back and supported the other through the hard times, well…until they were separated in their classes.

But this family, this cold and distant and proud family, was breaking all of the self-believed rules she thought a family needed to have in order to function. Unless she wasn't looking hard enough, but it seemed that the men and the women of the Kuchiki family didn't really mingle all too much together; the women stayed together with their gossip and their stories, traveling in pairs or in groups. The men somewhat conversed with each other about their positions and about the politics in Soul Society and Seireitei. The children of the Kuchiki Clan didn't dare to come within a mile of her, their judgmental eyes glaring at her and their chubby little fingers pointing at her.

"Why are YOU here?! You're not a Kuchiki!" one of them had the courage to yell at her as she sat before a koi pond, thinking and trying to touch the koi fish inside with the trail of her fingertip, and not succeeding. The mother of the child hurried over and hushed him, steering him away from her. But not once did she apologize or reprimand or deny the truth of the boy's accusation.

The hole swelled in anger.

Kuchiki are strong, the elders scolded her when she had angrily sulked when failing for the third time to properly prepare the tea and distribute it accordingly with the grace and eloquence expected of a female Kuchiki.

Do not allow foolish whims such as anger or any type of emotion rule over your logic. The only way to succeed is to be calm and calculated. Remember that.

And so, when that child screamed at her, she held her head high. Her amethyst eyes stared down the child with an unfamiliar clarity that made the child frown and step back before the mother swooped him away. She continued to kneel before the koi pond on her pillow a maid had placed for her, her newly bought kimono of light blue accentuating her plum-amethyst eyes as she stared down into the water. Her back was straight and her hands gently lied on her lap, overlapping the other. The fluttering wings of a bird in the tree above her caused her to look up. A blue jay swooped down from the branches to the perfectly maintained grass beside her, jumping and looking for food. She gave a small smile.

Rukia was oblivious to a pair of observing indigo eyes.

Her test to enter a seat position wasn't as bad as she thought it to be, a far cry from the disaster she was surely expecting. She expected to be blown away by the seventh seat, but was pleasantly surprised when she didn't go down for at least twenty minutes. She had even landed a couple of hits, not as major as the multiple ones he gave her, but overall she was happy.

She's not too bad for only being in the Academy for three years, one mused.

Her kidou is above average, it's just her swordsmanship that needs work, one critiqued.

I don't know, I was just kind of expecting to see more, another admitted.

She's nothing overly special, but I see potential, another encouragingly contributed, making her smile.

I wonder what her zanpaktou will be…another pondered.

In the end, due to her inexperience and the fact that she didn't know the name of her zanpaktou, Rukia wasn't deemed ready to be given a seat within the thirteenth division. It left a sick feeling in her stomach as she trudged her way back to the Kuchiki Estate. The high feeling of not failing as bad as she imagined gave way to the dreading anxiety of informing her nii-sama that she didn't make any seat within the division.

_I think I'm going to be sick…_She grasped her stomach, her zanpaktou gently bumping against her legs. She felt dizzy and light-headed, her throat constricting and tightening as a servant directed her to where nii-sama was. The journey there was tormenting as she imagined her brother finally casting a glance at her, his usually passive and calm face contorted in disgust and shame when she would tell him that she didn't acquire a seated position. He would surely throw her out of the Kuchiki Clan, she thought to herself, her hands clenching at their sides. He would disown her and send her back to the Academy with its resentful students, proclaiming that he was wrong to think she could amount to anything. That she was nothing but a waste of time, a mistake. What was I thinking, he would say, in adopting Rukongai filth into this prestigious family?

She was pitiful. She was worthless. Biting her lip to keep the tears at bay, Rukia thanked the servant and parted the doorway.

"Nii-sama," she momentarily congratulated herself in not allowing her voice to shake, "I have returned from my exams for the seated position in the thirteenth squad."

She looked up from her bowed position, her knees pressed against the hard, wooden floor. Nii-sama was sitting across the nearly empty room with his back to her. The dim candle light outlined the silhouette of his figure as he stared at something, or someone? She wondered as she took in the tributary flowers and incense. The picture he was staring at was hidden from her.

"And did you get a position?" he asked calmly, patiently. Uncomfortably, Rukia glanced down at her hands and clenched them in the black cloth of her shinigami robes. She didn't deserve these robes, not for another four years. Why for God's sake was she wearing them!?

"Iie, nii-sama. I…I am not yet experienced enough for graduating from the Academy so early as to be given such a position. Gomen nasai."

"I see." He replied nonchalantly, resignedly. Rukia looked at him with surprise. Whatever was left of her heart that wasn't swallowed quaked with sadness.

"You are dismissed."

"H-Hai."

Rukia couldn't decide which hurt the most. The thought of actually bringing disappointment to her brother, or the fact that he knew from the beginning that she wouldn't be given a seated position. Either way her heart broke.

Her pillow was soaked with her tears the next morning. The maids, though expressions sad, didn't say anything. There was nothing left to say.

-

"Nii-sama," Rukia breathed gently, melancholy settling deeply inside her. When would she ever make him proud? She didn't know how much longer she could take repeatedly reassuring his assessment of her inadequacy.

-

"Welcome to the Gotei 13, newbie! I'm Shiba Kaien, the fukutaichou of the Thirteenth Division squad. Nice to meet ya!" the purple-black haired, turquoise-blue eyed man smiled brightly with a playful salute to a rather surprised Kuchiki Rukia.

Rukia looked at the tall, smugly-grinning man and not for the first time, felt lost.

Jeez, when was the last time she met a person that showed more emotion than a mirror? Now that Rukia thought about it, around two to two and a half years, really; ever since she and Renji drifted apart. The hole that daily grew little by little stilled for a moment as she took in the unfamiliar familiarity that the fukutaichou expressed. After being tricked by the promise of a family "forever" by Renji's smile as well as the promise of a new family by the Kuchiki elders' polite courteousness, she didn't know how to take the man's seemingly carefree smile. Back in Rukongai, nobody smiled unless they got what they wanted.

"Oh, um…hello."

Rukia wasn't exactly sure, but she swore she saw a vein twitch underneath his eye. Her eyes widened when she saw his face scrunch up in a pissed off "you've got to be fucking kidding me" way.

"Um? UM, HELLO!? THAT ALL YA GOTTA SAY?!"

"EEK!?" Rukia squealed when out of nowhere, a large, strong hand grasped the top of her head and dragged her forward until she was almost nose to nose with her new fukutaichou. The man's turquoise eyes were blazing like a Caribbean inferno that threatened to swallow her up in a turbulent tsunami.

"That is no way to greet your commanding officer! You're supposed to state your damn name and tell me that you're pleased to meet me! What's your name!?"

Gulping in fear (she never had someone man handle her for a long time, not since Renji kicked her in the ass to wake her up from her daydream during the Academy days), Rukia stammered shakily,

"R-Rukia! K-Kuchiki Rukia, sir!"

Shiba Kaien narrowed his eyes at her. He grasped her hair more tightly, ruffling it to Rukia's dismay.

"Aaaaannnnnd…???"

"I-It's a pleasure to m-meet you too, sir!" she added quickly. She swear she could feel beads of sweat gathering on her forehead as he glanced at her inquisitively until eventually, he closed his eyes for a moment. Reopening them, he gave the same heart warming smile from before. His strong hand relaxed his grip on her head to give her a playful pat, mussing up her hair even more before giving her a thumbs up.

"Huh, you're alright, Kuchiki!" he leaned back, still smiling.

Bewildered, Rukia tried to flatten down her tangled hair, a faint embarrassed blush staining her cheeks.

_A normal greeting from one person to another…_Rukia watched as the shoji doors opened to show fellow excited Thirteenth Division squad members, asking Shiba-fukutaichou if he was busy. She looked up at his turned back with a stare of wonder and awe. She knew of the noble name of Shiba, one of the other four noble houses within Seireitei. Although not as rich or as luxurious as the Kuchiki family, the Shiba family was still a prominent force in politics; they were also known to be brash and straight to the point. But still, she couldn't help but be surprised. Ever since she was publicly known to be adopted into the Kuchiki family, everyone always addressed her politely and reserved, calling her "Kuchiki-san" or "Lady Kuchiki" by her maids and the servants. The elders addressed her reservedly as Rukia-san or Kuchiki-hime. Her nii-sama, really, was the only one to address her as only "Rukia," but it didn't really count because he only said her name twice in the months that she lived in the Kuchiki manor.

_Shiba Kaien-fukutaichou…He's something else, alright._

"Now that they're taken care of, where were we?" Kaien's voice shook her out of her reverie. "Again, welcome to the Thirteenth Division barracks. Our taichou, Ukitake Jyuushirou-taichou, is often sick so I usually run things around here. Heh, don't feel too bad if you accidentally call me Shiba-taichou! I won't hold it against you! Now, come on! I'll give you a tour of the Division. I can't wait for my wife, Miyako, to see you. She's gonna freak!"

"W-Why, if I may ask?" Rukia questioned hesitantly as she followed him out of the room and to the outside ledge. She gulped when her fukutaichou stopped to look at her with an annoyed expression. Oh God, what did she do now? Rukia came to a quick conclusion: this man's mood swings were like firecrackers. You could never know what would set him off.

"Sheesh," he muttered, "Those Kuchiki piss-ants sure managed to groom you, didn't they?"

Rukia didn't know what happened, but for some reason, the tone of his voice and the way he said it, struck a wrong chord inside of her. She clenched her fists. She was tired of this. She was tired of being dragged down upon and she was tired of people assuming a lot about her. And she was tired of always changing for other people. She was from Rukongai, damn it! She was tougher than this!

"LIKE HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU KNOW!?" she shouted at him before gasping. Damn! That wasn't what she wanted to say!! Paling, Rukia clamped her hands over her mouth. Her body stood stiff and trembled as she waited for her fukutaichou's wide eyes and slightly a-gaped mouth to recede into an angry scowl. Instead, she was surprised.

He laughed. And he laughed. And he laughed.

"W-what's so funny!? Why are you laughing?! Shiba-fukutaichou!!! Stop it!"

"I…I'm sorry! I just, HAHAHA!" Kaien broke off, wheezing as Rukia stomped her foot in impatience. A few shinigami that were outside looked at them in curiosity; she could already feel her cheeks and ears burning in embarrassment.

"Oh, wow!" Kaien chuckled, his laughter dying away. "Now THAT'S the spunk I saw the night before! I knew I wasn't just dreaming it up, Kuchiki. And by the way, you can just call me Kaien-dono, alright?"

Rukia gave another small, indignant squeak as he grasped her wrist and proceeded to drag her along the finely polished floors.

"K-Kaien-dono! Let me go! I can walk!"

"Yeah, I know, but this is so much fun!"

"LET GO!"

"Che," Kaien smirked at her in a goading way. "What are ya gonna do, Kuchiki? Kick me in the balls? You're not tall enough."

Rukia's eye twitched, her mouth opening and closing as she sputtered to make up a response. Smirking victoriously, Kaien turned his attention forward. _I can't kick him _there_ or else this Miyako-san will hate me. But I can do the next best thing…_

Giving a small hop, Rukia, suspended in midair, firmly kicked her foot out. Her bottom heel forcefully landed behind the juncture of his knee.

BAM!

"YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT!" Kaien yelped as his body jerked forward before falling backwards painfully, his head smacking against the wooden floor. Taking her chance, Rukia dislodged her wrist from his grasp. Adrenaline rushing through her veins (and successfully keeping away the horror she was inwardly feeling at what she just did), Rukia began sprinting forward, only to run smack into a rock hard chest that accompanied it with a mocking chuckle. Rukia's eyes widened when seeing a livid, but dare she say it, also amused, red-faced Kaien-dono. Grasping her pained nose (maybe she broke it), Rukia yelped as he leaned forward.

"AIIEEEEEE! LEAVE ME ALONE!" she wailed, all the while cursing the fates for bringing her more misery. Kaien laughed as he flawlessly pulled her into a headlock. Rukia gave a pained groan as he forcefully brought down his knuckle against her smoothly patted down hair and this time, destroying it beyond imagination.

"SHIBA KAIEN!" a woman's voice shouted not too far away. "PUT THAT POOR GIRL DOWN, RIGHT NOW!"

Hesitantly opening her eyes, Rukia gave a small gasp just as Kaien weakly laughed, "Aww, Miyako-chan! We're just having fun!"

"Yeah, I know your type of fun, _dearest_," the young woman responded curtly, unaffected by her husband's "innocent" act.

Shiba Miyako was one of the most beautiful women Rukia had ever seen. Within the Kuchiki household, most of the Kuchiki women preferred to wrap themselves in overly exaggerated, princess-styled kimonos with the long train and long, wide sleeves. They were all the same with their makeup and their intricate hairstyles that were held in place with crystal chopsticks and turtle-bone hair combs. They were pretty, yes, but after seeing the same thing day after day, Rukia could say that she had seen enough of that type of skin-deep beauty for the rest of her life time. But Miyako was like a breath of fresh air in an overly stuffed room full of mannequins. At an average height, Shiba Miyako had natural light peach skin that looked sun-kissed and was smooth with no blemishes. Her hair, a midnight black was pulled back into a half-done bun in the back of her head where thick pieces of hair trailed down to the middle of her back. Her sleek, blue eyes shimmered against the sun's rays.

Rukia blinked as Kaien slowly retreated from her with a knowing smirk. Miyako's features blanched for a moment as she took in the new recruit's appearance: ridiculously short, rumpled shinigami robes, a small flushed face, wide amethyst eyes, and adorably rumpled hair. Suddenly, a screech filled the air.

"KAWAII!!!!!!"

For the nth time that day, Rukia gave a small scream as Miyako shunpo-ed over to just before her before being swept up into her arms where she was quickly hugged tightly. Rukia gave a small wheeze as she felt her lungs crush from the lady's boa-constrictor like grip. Rukia's face flamed brightly as she distinctly heard Kaien-dono's laughter over Miyako's muttering of "So cute and adorable and so SMALL."

Rukia gave a trembling smile, her eyes pricking hotly with slow, building tears. She blinked rapidly to keep them away. Miyako gave a small giggle before setting down the Kuchiki princess on her own two feet. The next sentence that left her mouth made Rukia's thought-to-be dead heart jump and swell with joy.

"Do you like Chappy?"

Lord have mercy, there IS A GOD! And he just sent her, her guardian angel.

Shyly, Rukia nodded her head, her cheeks still flushed.

"PERFECT!" Miyako squealed in delight, successfully drowning out Kaien's horrified moan, and took her hand and proceeded to drag her away from the division barracks. "Kiyone-chan is just going to love you, Rukia. And if Kiyone-chan loves you, Sentaro-kun is going to adore you. Just wait."

Hesitantly, Rukia bit her lip and looked behind her. A question raced through her amethyst orbs. Kaien-dono walked behind her and placed a large hand on her shoulder, a reassuring smile on his lips.

The hole shrunk, and Rukia felt just a little bit warmer.

-

Giggling underneath her breath, Rukia turned her head sideways so that her temple lied against her knees.

She listened to nature's lullaby.

-

The next day she finally got to meet her taichou.

When she had first received the information that she would be testing for a seated position within the ranks of the Thirteenth Division under the captaincy of Ukitake Jyuushirou, Rukia had been scared silly and nervous as hell. She had heard the rumors during the Shinigami Academy, the legends of the two wielders of the only two-sword zanpaktous of all Soul Society as well as the favorite students of Genryuusei-soutaichou. Apparently her taichou, Ukitake, although stricken with an illness of tuberculosis, had awesome power and force and was not to be taken lightly. Kiyone-chan and Sentaro-kun had praised their taichou nearly ninety percent of the time she had been in their company (after trying to outdo each other in praising her and gaining her favor).

"He is the fairest and kindest, most LOVING of all taichous, Rukia-chan!" Kiyone proclaimed with stars in her eyes.

"His zanpaktou cannot be matched, not even by your respectful brother, Kuchiki-taichou, Rukia-chan!" Sentaro declared passionately (Rukia didn't know if she should have disagreed on her nii-sama's behalf for she had never seen his zanpaktou's shikai).

"I WILL BE THE BEST SUBORDINATE HE EVER HAD!"

"NO YOU'RE NOT, I WILL!"

"AS IF HE WOULD PICK AN OGRE!"

"AND WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? A PRINCESS? FAT CHANCE!"

"WHY I OUGHTA –"

"_**PIPE DOWN YOU IDIOTS!"**_ Kaien roared at the two co-owners of the fourth seat.

Rukia stopped the memory with a small sigh as she waited for her taichou to appear and reached forward, delicately picking up the fine china-porcelain cup. She took a sip of the jasmine-chamomile tea. Beside her, Kaien spared her a glance before stuffing his mouth a dumpling. Mouth full while still chewing, Kaien asked with a muffled voice,

" 'At's ith oo?"

Rukia closed her eyes again and thought about the expressions the Kuchiki elders would have sported if they saw Kaien-dono's horrendous eating manners. She could have laughed. She sighed again and took another sip.

"I'm beginning to think that nii-sama is punishing me for something…"

_Why else would he put me in a division full of nutcases? A bunch of nice nutcases, but still…Did he find out about Chappy Jr.? I only meant to keep him in the private gardens until his injury was healed…_

"Sheesh, what a stuck up priss." Kaien muttered bitterly and counted his blessings when Rukia didn't seem to hear him. Out of the corner of his eye, he looked at Rukia's profile. Her hands, though calloused, gave the epitome of elegance and delicateness as she held the tea cup with her left hand on the bottom and her right hand steadying it. She kneeled on her pillow almost in the direct center with her shinigami haori and hakamas in almost pristine condition. Her back was perfectly straight and her face was smooth and impossibly passive.

Kaien gave a dark scowl.

The girl was impossibly young and already she looked like the perfect lady, the perfect Kuchiki.

He would have to change that. He would unravel all of that Kuchiki-prissyness they "bestowed" upon her.

He smirked; this was gonna be fun.

"Ohayo!" greeted a familiar male voice. "Sorry for being late! Accidentally fell asleep late again…"

"While dreaming wet dreams about Ise-fukutaichou, sir? How scandalous!"

"N-Now see here, Kaien, that was uncalled for! Besides, Shunsui would maim me, friends or not, if I EVER had a dream implementing anything but platonic feelings towards Nanao-san."

"Sure, sure. I'll let you by, just this time!"

"KAIEN!"

The first thing she noticed about him was his reiatsu. Comforting, calm, and _warm_. She could feel it resonating from the core of his being as her taichou made his way to sit on the cushion on the other side of the low table. He was tall, about the same height as Kaien-dono, maybe an inch shorter. He also had long, white hair that reached about his waist. For some reason it looked fluffy, the same color of Chappy the Rabbit, and it took all of her might to keep her hands from twitching in eagerness to touch his floaty-looking hair. His face was fairly handsome with a kind and welcoming, almost eternally cheery disposition. His features were finely chiseled, his shoulders broad.

The second thing she noticed about him was his eyes. They were a deep, mahogany brown, just like her western-custom-made dresser in her room at the Kuchiki estate. It was the color that shined merrily like cherry wood when the sun would shine upon at certain angles and could sometimes fool others by flashing an emerald green or a light caramel.

The third thing she noticed about him was his smile. It was so open, so fresh and so welcoming, so eager to bring happiness. She could understand why many of the sensei's now at the Academy would remember fondly of their first sensei, Ukitake Jyuushirou when he used to teach there. It was rumored that he often treated his students with candy and sugar almost daily, almost as sweet as his smile.

And Rukia knew, the moment he looked at her and smiled brightly at her without boundaries as he greeted her and apologized to her that he wasn't there to greet her yesterday (and even furthermore began to share stories with her about his teaching days with NII-SAMA of all people), she was extremely lucky to have a taichou such as him. Maybe this was the reason why nii-sama placed her in this squad. Even though its occupants were, what was the common phrase…slightly touched in the head, the taichou of said division would make it up for it.

She couldn't be anymore happy.

The hole continued to shrink.

-

Rukia opened her eyes, a smile playing on her lips.

She had heard of the expression that once you've hit rock bottom, you have nowhere else to go but up. When she had been a small child at the orphanage, she was at rock bottom. The kids hated her, never dreamed about going anywhere near her. She had no one. Yes, she had a roof over her head, but nothing more. After leaving the orphanage, she remained at rock bottom, possibly even lower. The lonely nights of wandering through Inuzuri District with no real sense of purpose, no home to really go to, no one she really needed to speak to…she had felt cold, alone, lost and had felt at one time, a fickle similarity to a hollow. When she lived in Inuzuri, the myths and nightmares of hollows were a favorite pastime to use in scary stories or as punishments. Hollows were evil spirits destined to roam the human and spiritual planes in the quest of fulfillment, in the quest to stop the incessant burning, the desire for what they lacked, what the hole represented: a heart.

For a while, she felt like exactly like a hollow, and the revelation of that realization made her cry through many lonely nights.

But when she met Renji and his friends, eventually becoming her friends and her own Rukongai family…she found her heart and she no longer felt like a hollow. She earnestly hoped she never would.

When the circle of friends, due to poverty and sickness, was reduced to just her and Renji, her heart started to feel lost and confused – the void in her chest attempting to bring it down back into its perpetual depths. In the attempt to keep her heart alive, she clung to Renji in hopes of saving her heart, in hopes of saving her last relation to the near perfect family she had become a part of. But the Shinigami Academy ruined it. SHE in effect ruined it for persuading Renji that becoming a shinigami was the only last option for them. Drifting from Renji, eventually being ripped away from Renji due to her adoption into the illustrious Kuchiki family, Rukia once again lost her heart amongst the distant, predator-like nobles that fed upon her insecurities and her weakness, her fragility. The hole consumed her until she became just like them: impassive, emotionless, friendless, and she still didn't grasp what she wanted in the first place: a family.

She had hit rock bottom once again, and found her way back up thanks to her precious squad, her precious Ukitake-taichou, her precious Kaien-dono, her precious Miyako-dono, and her precious Kiyone-chan and Sentaro-kun. It was still taking a while, since it had only been at least two years since she entered the Thirteenth Division, but Rukia found herself loving the division as a whole. Fellow shinigami who resented her for being a Kuchiki and being so easily upgraded to the Gotei 13, slowly looked at her as the "Kuchiki" that Kaien-dono saw and, to Rukia's inner happiness, treated her like Kaien-dono did. She found comradeship amongst her peers and superiors in the barracks and always felt a sense of loss, a sense of being incomplete when at the end of the day she would have to travel back to the cold, dismal house of Kuchiki.

The hole in her chest stayed in a sense of balance between the warmth and happiness of her Thirteenth division family as well as the frosty disregard and distain of the Kuchiki elders and of her nii-sama.

The hole stayed the way it was, although it had more of a tendency to shift towards the shrinking side than expanding. And she hoped it stayed that way.

She didn't want to reach rock bottom ever again, not if meant losing what she just now gained.

Not even the loss of Renji and what they had could dull her new family.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Wow. This prologue was…not supposed to be this long. Sheesh. This is like two chapters, maybe three. (Sweat drops) Ah well. This is my first ever BLEACH story and I am beyond excited! WOOT! :) And I couldn't resist a Rukia x Kaien based story because, come on, there NEEDS to be more Rukia x Kaien (with some competition of course). I'm actually kind of surprised that there aren't a lot of stories on this pairing – I actually find their relationship and their ordeal utterly romantic and tragic. The perfect drama. Also, before I forget. I should mention that it's not just explicitly Rukia x Kaien, there are...some other people vying for Rukia's affection...Cough.

Anyways, HAPPY NEW YEAR! IT'S ALREADY 2009! I still can't get my head wrapped around it.

My new year's resolution: TO GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WRITING HIATUS! I haven't written anything since last February.

PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

-Miss Artemis

P.S. – Sorry for the OOC-ness in Miyako, but I couldn't resist. Rukia is just too cute.


	2. Chapter 2

Akuen

DISCLAIMER: (Sighs) Yeah, Kubo Tite owns BLEACH.

~..~..~

_It lies around us like a cloud,  
__A world we do not see;  
__Yet the same closing of an eye  
__May bring us there to be._

_Its gentle breezes fan our cheek;  
__Amid our worldly cares,  
__Its gentle voices whisper love,  
__And mingle with our prayers._

_Sweet hearts around us throb and beat,  
__Sweet helping hands are stirred,  
__And palpitates the veil between  
__With breathings almost heard._

_The silence, awful, sweet, and calm,  
__They have no power to break;  
__For mortal words are not for them  
__To utter or partake._

_So thin, so soft, so sweet, they glide,  
__So near to press they seem,  
__They lull us gently to our rest,  
__They melt into our dream._

_And in the hush of rest they bring  
__'T is easy now to see  
__How lovely and how sweet a pass  
__The hour of death may be; --_

_To close the eye, and close the ear,  
__Wrapped in a trance of bliss,  
__And, gently drawn in loving arms,  
__To swoon to that -- from this, --_

_Scarce knowing if we wake or sleep,  
__Scarce asking where we are,  
__To feel all evil sink away,  
__All sorrow and all care._

_Sweet souls around us! watch us still;  
__Press nearer to our side;  
__Into our thoughts, into our prayers,  
__With gentle helpings glide._

_Let death between us be as naught,  
__A dried and vanished stream;  
__Your joy be the reality,  
__Our suffering like the dream._

"_The Other World" by Harriet Beecher Stowe _

~..~..~

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Chapter 1: "What is in a Name?"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

White. It was all she could see. Stretching beyond the horizon like a large blanket, the snow-barren floor swirled in tiny white circles by a passing breeze, glistening and sparkling against a nonexistent sun. Glancing down, Rukia found the tendrils of ice, just like every other time she visited this place, crawling up and around her favorite pair of slippers. The ice was thin and transparent as glass. It shined at many angles, creating multiple tiny rainbows. The movement of the ice seemed almost loving, like an embrace between old lovers that were parted for too long.

"Rukia…"

Her eyes looked forward. The winds began to pick up, whistling and howling against her ears. Chips of ice and light, fluffy powdered snow caught onto her sleeping yukata, striking her flushed cheeks and coating her coal-black hair and eyelashes. Her lips parted, her warm breath crystallizing in the frigid air.

"Who…are you?" she whispered softly.

Beyond the misty clouds that obscured her vision, Rukia could just faintly see the translucent figure; a solitary sleeve flapping loudly with the wind. Rukia, in desperation to see more of the mysterious persona that evaded her vision, squinted her eyes. The man's voice was a deep baritone and was as smooth as a finely crafted katana. It sent shivers down her spine and spurred forward a sense of belonging, a sense of comradeship within her. Her hand reached out, her fingertips lightly grazing the soft snow. For a moment, Rukia caught a glimpse.

A beautiful fighting kimono made of the purest shade of ivory with the most complex of decorative stitching in white and light blue.

A sleeve longer than the other…

Long light blue hair pulled high into a ponytail…

Eyes the shade of electric blue…

Skin the color of freshly fallen snow.

"Call my name, Rukia…" he continued softly, and yet could still be heard over the windy terrain. "Grasp the hilt and gain my power, little one. Say it, you know it. You've known it your whole life…"

A quaking, trembling sound reached her ears.

Rukia gasped as she looked down to find an ordinary katana before her, pierced into the ground and rattling with the force of the winds. She could have sworn it wasn't there before…A sense of unease filled her, uncertainty shining in her eyes.

Gazing back at the beautiful man hidden within the snow's feint screen, she called out shakily, "But…But what if I don't know your name!? How do I know!?"

The man gave a feint, almost condescending smirk. His eyes gleamed with challenge. "You know it, Rukia. You just have to try. Remember."

Their eyes locked in a battle of wills, his orbs piercing through her weak, defenseless ones. The girl felt as if he was searching her very soul, but for what she didn't know. It took several minutes, but the man finally closed his eyes and gave a resigned, but almost disappointed sigh. Rukia felt a strong throb of guilt plague her. She hated it, absolutely _hated_ it when she couldn't meet others' expectations.

"I'm sorry," Rukia cried out. The man looked at her, his sleeve still flapping in the breeze. Hot, heavy tears fell over the bridge of her eyes and coursed down softly over her red cheeks. Trembling, Rukia gave a pained gasp as she wrapped her arms around her in an attempt to comfort herself. "I want to know your name! I really do! Why can't I find it?"

The man didn't respond, but instead raised the arm with the longer sleeve.

A gasp hitched in her throat as she felt nonexistent glass fingertips touch her tears and wiped them away.

"You're still not ready."

Her heart clenched as his arm fell back to his side and the feeling of his fingertips slipped away. Looking around, Rukia panicked as she saw the beautifully cold, vast desert slowly seep away into darkness. The man turned away from her and Rukia, breaking free from her stance and shattering the delicate ice, ran after him.

"MATTE-!"

"The next time we meet, I hope you remember it, Rukia."

"WAIT, PLEASE!"

The blinding whiteness gave way to darkness.

…

"WAIT!"

Rukia's eyes snapped open. Bolting up into a seated position, frantic purple eyes glanced worriedly around their surroundings. Tatami mats, beautiful paintings on bamboo, decorated shoji doors, expensively made dressers, and a small low table littered with papers covered in (horrible) drawings in the center of the room. Two pairs of slippers were placed by her futon: her normal Kuchiki slippers and her personal, fluffy Chappy slippers Miyako-dono gave her for her first celebrated birthday within her division. A small pair of slender shoulders slumped forward in slight relief. Eyelids tiredly slid closed, hiding away exhausted orbs.

"I'm sorry," her whispered apology echoed in the empty, pitch-black room.

Releasing a sigh, Rukia pushed her foreign-made comforter and sheets away from her suspiciously cold body. A pair of dainty feet slipped into the fluffy Chappy-themed slippers before making her way to the plain shoji doors that led to her small, but elegant garden. The wood slid against wood and Rukia winced as her eyes, accustomed to the dark, were flooded with the silver light of the full moon. Leaning against the wooden frame of the shoji wall, Rukia stared at the moon and gave a relaxed and unabashed smile. For some reason, when the moon was at its fullest, it felt as if her body was singing a melody, yearning and longing for the loving caress of silver light.

"**Say it…Say my name, little one…"**

"God damn it!" Rukia cursed, her eyes clenching as she tried to hang on to that beautiful voice. It was too late, the voice was fading away. Again.

"Why does this always happen around the full moon?"

The question, like so many others, was left unanswered.

Closing her eyes again, Rukia tried her hardest to remember him. What little that she saw had struck her as eternal and ungodly beauty. Everything about him was white and so perfect, a solitary white beacon hidden deep within the dark remnants of her soul calling out to her. And she felt herself barred.

Pure white lily skin…An ivory, white and light blue fighting kimono…A sleeve longer than the other, almost reaching his knees…Long light blue hair and electric blue eyes.

Rukia rubbed the back of her head with the heel of her palm and scowled. "I'll just have to ask Kaien-dono tomorrow."

Stepping back into her room, Rukia close the shoji door and, after much fumbling in the darkness, managed to light a small candle on her table near her small planted bonsai tree. Walking into her large closet, Rukia picked a simple outer kimono to place over her white sleeping yukata. Like routine, Rukia carefully opened the decorated shoji doors that led to a hallway inside the Kuchiki Estate. Every time she had the dream about her zanpaktou in her inner world, Rukia could never fall right back to sleep. It was almost habitual that she would enter the Kuchiki kitchen for a small snack to calm her nerves and, hopefully, lull her back to sleep at the time of the full moon every month. Rukia counted her blessings that she hadn't been caught yet.

Closing the shoji doors as smooth and as quietly as she could, Rukia turned and very carefully made her way to the kitchens with her small lamp in hand. Biting her bottom lip gently, Rukia paused at an intersection and cupped her hand around the lit glass frame, dimming the light further. The snores and rustles of blankets of the immediate family entered her ears. Peering at the dark halls, Rukia continued on, her slipper-clad feet barely making a sound as she made a right and down a hallway where there were cement walls on one side and the other a wall of sliding doors to enter the large dining hall. Allowing her hand to fall away, Rukia allowed a triumphant smile to light up her face. The rest would be easier. Taking another turn, Rukia quickly found her way to the kitchens.

The Kuchiki kitchens were the state of the art cook's dream. With multiple sizes and styles of knives, pans, pots, strainers, filters, tongs, forks, and spoons and the best and easiest fire place installed, any chef that had the opportunity to work here had reached the peak of their career. It was also the place that Rukia loved to visit, despite many of the proclamations the cooks and servants made that royalty such as her shouldn't be in such a sweaty and unappealing environment before stuffing her with fresh pastries and deserts, all the while allowing her to taste-test experimental recipes. Giving a happy sigh, Rukia walked toward the large pantry and grabbed her favorite fruit: an orange.

Taking one of the smaller knives from a drawer, Rukia quickly rinsed and dried it off before carefully cutting the orange into sections on the countertop, the candle creating long shadows of her fingers, of the orange and of the knife.

"**Say it…Say it…Say it…Say it…Say it…Say it…Say it…"**

The voice slowly trickled in one ear and out the other so fast that Rukia wasn't quite sure if she heard anything at all. Shaking her head, Rukia allowed the scent of the fresh, zesty orange to take her into autopilot. The soft, almost inaudible, click and clunk of the knife hitting the wooden cutting board filtered through the empty air. But she couldn't get him out of her mind. All she could see was white. White, white, white – all white. Light shades of blue, crystal clear glass and WHITE. Unwanted tears built up in her eyes. With a frustrated hiss, Rukia dropped the orange on the cutting board and wiped the slowly releasing tears with the cuff of her sleeve.

Clink. Shatter. Scatter.

She stared down in surprise. The counter was littered with tiny shards, mixing with the pieces of cut up orange. The candlelight shined and glistened against the delicate shards of ice.

_Where…?_ Her eyes widened in disbelief.

"**Say it…Say it…Say it…"**

The voice, his voice was getting louder, gaining volume. Her head began to pound from the force.

"**SAY IT!"**

"_I DON'T KNOW HOW!"_ she hissed angrily, her eyes clenching tightly shut. Bitter tears escaped from the corners of her eyes, but freezing before they even reached half-way down her cheeks. Choking back desperate sobs, Rukia slashed the knife angrily through a piece of orange and into the cutting board in frustration. The sound was louder than the others, but never reaching past the shoji walls. Rukia, trying to calm herself, opened her eyes and immediately felt her jaw slacken. The handle of the knife her hand gripped so tightly was now covered in ice, and she could only watch as the ice continued to grow, stretching over the sharp blade.

"Rukia."

Breath hitching in her throat, Rukia whipped around, unable to keep back the gasp. Byakuya stared at her coolly with only a tiny hint of curiosity as he took in the frozen tears on her face, the slowly melting ice on the countertop and the frozen kitchen knife now attached to her hand. Dressed in a simple sleeping yukata, slippers, and a heavy outer-kimono, Rukia couldn't help but feel as if she was meeting a stranger. He wasn't wearing his kenseikan – it looked so different falling in silky disarray. The only thing that reminded her it was him was the way he held himself tall and proud, as well as his stoic indigo gaze.

"N-Nii-sama!" Rukia stammered uncomfortably. A light blush stained her pale cheeks. She struggled to separate her hand from the knife.

"…" He raised an eyebrow at her. Rukia flushed even more.

"I…I…" Rukia sighed softly, tears shining in her eyes. "It keeps telling me to call its name, but…" Rukia took her free hand to wipe away the tears and bit back a groan of humiliation when more ice clattered to the countertop, "I…I don't know its name."

Byakuya stared at her silently as she bit her bottom lip and tried to break the strong ice encasing her hand and the knife. He looked at the shards of ice lingering with the cut up orange pieces and the remaining pieces of ice that remained on her cheeks that she didn't manage to brush away. Finally, he walked forward until he stood behind her. His warm, strong hands clasped her tiny and unsurprising cold wrist and hand. Rukia watched with anticipation, her heart thudding in nerves as she felt him gather a small amount of reiatsu.

"Hadou Thirty-One," he whispered lightly. A small amount of red light shined through the small cracks of his fingers. Their faces lit up with the light. "Shakkahou."

She felt a small prick on the back of her hand – it felt warm rather than scorching, skin-burning hot.

The ice cracked then shattered into several pieces, glistening against the candlelight as it fell to the small puddle of water on the countertop. Rukia eagerly dropped the knife and pulled her hand to her chest. Breathing hard against her hand and rubbing it with her free hand, Rukia flexed it. Though numb, her hand wasn't worse for wear.

"A-Arigatou, nii-sama."

"Hm."

His light footsteps echoed silently in the kitchen, his shadow stretching in a long, thin fashion against the walls as he made his way to the exit. Rukia stared at his back, her hand forgotten. Her eyes were sad; a small frown marred her lips.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ She scolded herself, turning back to the mess before her. Staying away from the knife that stood semi-straight in the cutting block, Rukia picked up a piece of orange.

"Listen."

Stopping, Rukia turned to look back at Byakuya to find him still at the exit, his back still towards her.

"The best way to find your zanpaktou's name is to wait and listen. And be patient."

He took a step out into the dark hall and hesitated for a moment as if pondering something.

"And don't let the elders see those slippers."

And with that, the youngest Kuchiki Clan leader left his only adopted sister alone.

Giving a smile, Rukia slipped a piece of orange past her lips. Her Chappy the Rabbit slipper-clad feet swinging in the air from the stool she sat on.

-

"COME AT ME WITH ALL YOU'VE GOT, KUCHIKI!" Kaien hollered, racing towards the small shinigami with amazing speed.

"H…HAI!" Rukia answered, trying with all of her might to match up with his thrusts, parrying as fast as she could. She winced multiple times when she accidentally slipped up and gave him open spots to hit. But never did she allow herself to close her eyes and lose herself to the initial pain, not like she did before in the Shinigami Academy.

Rukia quickly brought her wooden kendo sword up over her head, and with both hands, managed to stop his downward stroke. The force of impact rattled her arms and sent vibrations into her chest.

_Sheesh!_ She cursed, ducking and giving a low round house kick. Kaien quickly dodged to the side and gave a horizontal sweep. She quickly met the blow with her own. The sound emanating from the two swords echoed like thunderclaps in the deserted dojo. _His strength…I can't even explain it!_

"GO RUKIA-CHAN, GO!" Kiyone screamed from her position by the wall.

"YOU CAN DO IT, RUKIA-CHAN! GO TEAM KUCHIKI!" Sentaro, never one to be beaten, joined in.

Well, almost deserted.

Left, right, jump, sweep down, charge, right, left, right, kick, horizontal sweep. Pivot, pivot, charge. Downward sweep intercepted by an upward sweep. Diagonal cut, jab, parry, charge, evade, duck, kick out, left, right, left, right, thrust forward.

Damn it, she could already feel her arms getting weaker. Her eyes widened in horror when all of a sudden, his pre-image disappeared.

"GOT YA!" Kaien roared as he appeared beside her; an almost manic smirk had spread itself as widely as possible across his roguishly handsome face. Rukia gasped in surprised, only twisting her head fast enough to look at him from the corner of her eye. He darted forward, prepared to deliver a punishing blow to her lower back when she suddenly disappeared from sight.

"What the -?" Kaien blinked; Caribbean blue eyes shocked. Shunpo? But how?

_SHIT!_

He whirled around, lifting his sword just in time to parry a deadly aiming sword. Rukia's wide, disbelieving eyes brought on a cocky smirk. With a free hand, he quickly grasped one of her small, dainty wrists and flung her over his shoulder.

"AH!" Rukia shrieked as she slammed onto the hard polished dojo floor, skidding and sliding until she crashed against the wooden wall behind her. Groaning, Rukia grasped her head in her hands. "Itai…"

Kaien blinked in surprise. Kiyone gasped in concern and hurriedly got to her feet, Sentaro hot on her heels.

"Rukia-chan! Dajibou!?"

Quickly making his way to the curled up girl, Kaien gulped. Concern and guilt stabbed him hard in the chest as he knelt down beside her.

"Kuchiki, are you all right? I didn't think I threw you that – UGH!"

Kaien doubled over grasping his stomach. His mouth hung open, gasping for air. A pissed off but smirking Rukia let go of the kendo sword she had slapped against her fukutaichou's midsection. The Kuchiki immediately found herself hoisted into the air by a pair of strong, calloused hands; she felt almost ready to pass out from the sudden rush of blood to her already throbbing head. Sentaro lifted her onto his shoulders as Kiyone clapped and cheered.

"Great job, Rukia-chan! You beat Kaien-dono to the ground!"

"SUCH GREAT TACTICS AND ACTING SKILLS! YOU'RE A NATURAL, RUKIA-CHAN!"

"Fuck you, guys!" Kaien half-heartedly griped at the cheering pair. If one looked close enough, they would find a small, but satisfied smirk playing on his lips. "That was such a cheap shot!"

An indignant Rukia opened her mouth for a retort when a light-hearted voice interrupted her: "Well, well! What do we have here?"

Four pairs of eyes turned to the shoji door leading outside to find their taichou smiling at them in amusement, his brown eyes twinkling. Rukia grasped onto Sentaro's thick, spiky black hair to keep her hands from reaching out on their own accord and grasp onto the long, white tendrils of hair that lazily swayed from the summer wind outside.

"UKITAKE-TAICHOU!!!" Kiyone and Sentaro shouted at the same time, reverence etched into every portion of their faces as they hurriedly dropped to the floor in a formal bow, almost to the point of kowtowing. Rukia yelped as she fell forward from Sentaro's broad shoulders.

Groaning against the harsh floor, Rukia willed herself not to pass out.

"RUKIA-CHAN" cried Sentaro, fear resonating in his gaze, "I'm so sorry!"

"Now look what you did you buffoon!" Kiyone angrily pulled at his ear.

"OW! Let go of me you psychotic bitch!"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!"

Kaien sighed, rubbing his temples. Taking pity on the tiny Kuchiki, the fukutaichou stood up despite of his throbbing stomach. Kaien couldn't hold back the grin as he picked up both of their swords. Dang, the girl could deliver a hard hit when she wanted to. The Shiba-heir was making his way towards the poor girl when he stopped in surprise. Ukitake looked at Rukia in concern, ignoring the fighting fourth-seats. Ukitake stepped forward and reached down.

"Oh, dear. Here we go, Rukia."

Rukia's eyes almost literally ripped open when she felt a pair of strong, but exceedingly gentle hands wrap themselves around her waist. Ukitake gave a small, charming smile as he sat her gently to her feet as if she weighed as light as a feather and was as fragile as a porcelain doll.

"Are you alright?"

Blushing, Rukia nodded, "H-Hai! Arigatou, taichou!"

Chuckling, Ukitake reached into one of his taichou's jacket pockets and pulled out a chocolate bar in the shape of a rabbit. Rukia's eyes and face lit up at the sight. She eagerly accepted the treat and, without thinking, dined in.

Unbeknownst to her, all of the occupants gave her a small, sad smile. Ukitake held in a bitter sigh and instead, channeled his negativity into showing his excitement at bringing such an exuberant smile from the almost seemingly depressed Kuchiki princess. He patted her head. Kaien grinded his teeth, clenching his fists as he mentally tried to calm himself. It took everything within him to keep him from going to the sixth division barracks and handing Byakuya his ass to him personally.

It was fucking sad that something as simple as a chocolate bar could bring a girl such happiness.

"KUCHIKI!" he bellowed, smirking evilly as Rukia squeaked in surprise. She choked on the chocolate momentarily; her cheeks flamed in embarrassment.

"H-Hai?"

"Once you're done piggin' out," he took delight at her horrified facial expression, as well as the darkening of the cherry-bright blush, "Meet me just outside of the barracks. There's a place I want to take you for our training."

"Yes, sir!"

Nodding, Kaien strolled out…but not before delivering a swift blow of retribution. His foot connected with her bottom.

Rukia gave a screech as she flew forward, her hands grasping frantically at the treat that was suspended in mid-air. She released a small sigh of relief when it landed safely in the cradle of her cupped hands. Angrily, she yelled indignantly at her laughing fukutaichou's back,

"K-Kaien-dono!"

"Payback for the low blow, Kuchiki! Nyah!"

Rukia pouted softly, still sitting on the dojo floor.

"**Say it."**

She closed her eyes, her head bowing. The half-eaten treat was forgotten.

"Can we help you with anything, taichou?" Kiyone asked eagerly, her hands clasped together on her bosom. Her cheeks flushed. Ukitake laughed lightly, rubbing the back of his head as Sentaro cleanly pushed her to the side. The man seemed to be just as eager, maybe even more so.

"Hai, taichou! All you have to do is ask and I shall do it! As your most hard-working sub -UGH!" Sentaro's head snapped backward from Kiyone's uppercut.

"YOU PIGHEAD! _I _ASKED THE TAICHOU FIRST!"

"BUT _I_ AM THE MOST CAPABLE!"

"NOSE PICKER!"

"SELF-ABSORBED!"

"PIG!"

"HAG!"

"TAICHOU!" Kiyone finally proclaimed, her fierce eyes directed at her beloved captain. Ukitake gave a meek smile.

"Hai, Kiyone-san?"

"There must be something you need done!"

"Something that both of us can do!"

By now, the two fourth-seat co-owners were forehead to forehead, "SO WE CAN SEE WHOSE THE BEST!"

Ukitake paused, rubbing his chin in thought. "Well…I did just get a large load of papers from soutaichou…"

"SUGOI!"

The white-haired captain blinked in surprise when instead of seeing two of his subordinates, he saw two trails of dust leading back to his and Kaien's headquarters.

"Those two," he laughed, ruffling his hair. Realizing that Rukia's reiatsu was still in the room, the thirteenth division captain turned around with surprise, a teasing smile playing on his lips,

"Rukia, you're still here? You better finish the chocolate before Kaien comes back and decides to –Rukia?" Ukitake paused in concern, brown eyes glinting in worry as he saw the small Kuchiki still sitting where she landed from Kaien's kick. He couldn't see her down turned face, the chocolate lying half-finished in her grasp. Moving to her, Ukitake kneeled down. "Rukia?" He questioned softly.

Her amethyst eyes, usually plagued with insecurity, worry, and sadness, were vacant. As if she was seeing something that he couldn't. He waved his hand over her face and as expected, didn't receive a response. He snapped his fingers. Nothing. Ukitake tilted her head. Her eyes were dazed and, his eyebrows shot up, her eyelashes were covered in frost. She exhaled a breath, crystallizing and turning into steam in contrast to the warm temperature of the room.

"An ice-based zanpaktou," he murmured as he speculated her. "How interesting! Here I was so sure that you were an animal type…"

A sudden gasp escaped Rukia's light-blue tinged lips. Silver-coated eyelashes fluttered closed against flushed cheeks before shooting upward to reveal alarmed, amethyst orbs. Shock being the most noticeable emotion.

"T-Taichou?"

Ukitake smiled, "Welcome back to the living. I see that you zanpaktou wanted to have a word with you?"

Rukia blushed lightly, uncomfortably. "H-Hai. He…he keeps talking to me, telling me to say his name. He even says his name sometimes, but whenever he does, it's like…it's like…"

"Like you've got cotton in your ears," Ukitake clarified with understanding, shifting into a more comfortable position by sitting in front of his subordinate, his hands in his taichou-jacket sleeves.

Rukia nodded with a relieved expression. "Yes, exactly like that. It's so frustrating!"

Ukitake nodded with a small chuckle. "Aw, yes. The inability to hear your zanpaktou's name is quite irritating, isn't it? It's been quite a while for me, but I can still remember feeling the same way about my zanpaktou."

Rukia watched in amazement as Ukitake unsheathed his sword and placed it on the dojo floor between them. The sword, in Rukia's opinion, felt to be vibrating in a gentle rumble. Its power oozing off in waves as it pulsed like a heartbeat. But…it was strange. Her eyebrows furrowed downward in confusion; she tapped her chin with her index finger. The sword's aura was…weird, almost conflicting in a way. Ukitake peered at his sword with a fond smile and looked at Rukia expectedly, waiting for her verdict.

"Is it just me, sir, or does your zanpaktou seem to…"

"Clash?" he offered with a proud smile, not too many people paid close enough attention at his zanpaktou to see the difference between his and Shunsui's.

"Hai."

"Yes, and there's a reason for that. I can assume that you have heard the legend that Shunsui and I are the only ones to wield the only two-sword zanpaktou in Soul Society, correct?" Rukia nodded. "Well, there's a difference between Shunsui's Katen Kyoukotsu and my Sougyo No Kotowari. Shunsui's zanpaktou are two individual swords, two zanpaktou spirits with the same, complimentary power. It may sound confusing, but Shunsui's zanpaktou has two spirits, siblings. My zanpaktou, however, as you can see, is only a solitary sword."

"So how -?"

"When I release my zanpaktou into shikai form, my zanpaktou splits into two separate, but identical swords. You see, Rukia, my zanpaktou may not have the form of two separate swords like Shunsui, but due to my zanpaktou's…special personality, it has different powers and thus must separate into two when activated."

Rukia scratched the back of her head, feeling foolish. "Gomen, demo, I don't understand, taichou."

"To put it simply, my zanpaktou has a split personality – two opposing beliefs and two different powers. In order to use them effectively, my sword must split to use both."

Understanding finally settled in. "So when your zanpaktou first started speaking to you…?"

Ukitake laughed. "I was utterly confused! You can't imagine how upset I was when my zanpaktou's behavior would be one way but suddenly change into another. It took me forever to say my zanpaktou's name; to put it quite frankly, I almost thought Sougyo No Kotowari gave up on me!"

"How?" Rukia eagerly leaned forward in anticipation that Ukitake blinked in surprise.

"How did I learn his name?"

Rukia nodded, her body practically thrumming with excitement.

"Listen and concentrate, Rukia. Find a quiet place and reach out to your zanpaktou."

The excitement wilted away from Rukia's expected face. "That's…it? But how could you tell their names? Did they tell you?"

"They did, but they also dropped hints by showing their appearance. I suppose your inner world is also supposed to alert you to their name. Does that help?"

A vast, white desert with nothing in the horizon. Drifting snow and ice.

Electric blue eyes with a solitary sleeve rustling in the breeze. A trembling sword pierced into a bank of snow.

"**You know my name…"**

Rukia smiled at her taichou, her eyes much clearer than Ukitake had seen them before. He couldn't help but smile back. She nodded, "Arigatou, taichou!"

"It's my pleasure to help my subordinates, Rukia."

"_**KUCHIKI!"**_ roared a distant voice. Rukia paled.

"Ah! There goes Kaien." Ukitake commented off-handedly, unsurprisingly unaffected at his fukutaichou's blood-thirsty shriek of impatience that sent every division member hiding for cover. His face seemed to radiate with happiness. "You might want to hurry! But first…Now let's see, I think I might have it somewhere. Ah, here we go!"

Ukitake, smiling as brightly as the sun, produced a small bag of sweet taffies and chocolate bars.

"Good luck with your training! I hope you find out your zanpaktou's name out soon."

Rukia shyly accepted the bag. Bowing low to her taichou, Rukia thanked him again before sprinting hell-bent to the front of the Thirteenth Division where Kaien, eye twitching madly, pulled her by the scuff of her collar.

"K-Kaien-dono! Where are we going!?"

"You know, I was going to be nice and tell you earlier, but after making me wait for THIRTY MINUTES!, I think I'll leave you in suspense."

"Kaien-dono…" she whined in a small pout. Kaien looked ahead determinedly.

"Don't think that face can change my mind! I'm not as dumb as Miyako, Kuchiki!"

Rukia gasped, "How dare you say that about your own wife!?"

"Very easily! Have ya heard the things she says about me? Now be your stuck-up Kuchiki-ness and keep quiet."

"I-I am NOT STUCK UP!"

"Psh-ah!"

Together, the two made their way into Hokutan, the third district of West Rukongai near Mountain Koifushi.

"You're lagging behind, Kuchiki!"

"W-Well slow down! I'm much smaller than you, Kaien-dono!"

"Naaah, you _need_ the exercise."

…

"By the way, who's teaching you how to shunpo?"

"Um…eh…"

"IT'S MIYAKO, ISN'T IT!? I knew it!"

Rukia gave an exasperated sigh, jogging to keep up with her fukutaichou's long strides. But nevertheless, a smile of content played on her lips as she listened to Kaien-dono's complains about Miyako stealing his job. The small bag of treats given to her by her precious taichou bounced up and down within her sack slung across her back.

The void seemed nonexistent.

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A/N: Thank you for the reviews!

Most of the information that I will be writing in regards to kidou spells and zanpaktous and their names (such as Shunsui's and Ukitake's) have come from the website:

w w w . b l e a c h e x i l e . c o m

I will also probably use wikipedia if it is reliable. Just wanted to clear that up!

And the place I mentioned were Rukia and Kaien are going to train is true! I got it from manga chapter 268, page 4.

Ja ne!

-Miss Artemis


	3. Chapter 3

Akuen

Disclaimer: …A girl can dream, can't she? But alas, he belongs to Kubo Tite!

~..~..~

_I searched among the card displays,  
__To see if I could find,  
__A little something that would say  
__Just what was on my mind._

_However there was not a one,  
__That captured it just right,  
__For no one else can understand  
__Just what I'd like to write._

_I even find it difficult  
__To try to write it down,  
__For how do I portray to you,  
__The love that I have known?_

_I close my eyes and what I see,  
__Is someone I adore;  
__A person who is beautiful,  
__Right down into their soul._

_Mere words cannot describe  
__The many qualities you show,  
__The love and caring nature that  
__You share with those who know._

_Your kind and gentle temperament,  
__Your sweet angelic smile,  
__Your softly spoken sentiments,  
__That reach across the miles._

_Your smile and laugh that sparkle with  
__The softness of your sighs,  
__The way your face lights up a room…  
__That twinkle in your eye._

_The loving gestures through the years,  
__That quickly come to mind,  
__For always you've a gentle word  
__To calm and soothe I find._

_I struggle and I search to try  
__To find some words anew…  
__And yet I cannot capture  
__All the things that make you you._

_I shall therefore, be satisfied  
__That you must simply know,  
__Just how I feel about you,  
__For with words I cannot show._

"_Mere Words" by Kit McCallum_

~..~..~

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Chapter 2: Where Your Heart Lies

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The grass was wild with a lush, vibrant green hue, and rich with the scent of honeysuckle and wildflowers. The glaring sun shined with vivacious tenacity, never allowing the shadows to creep further than beyond their object's domain. The warm spring-summer wind shook the leaves about the dozens of oak trees littering around the area of Mt. Koifushi in Hokutan. Robins, blue jays, finches, cardinals and others chirped in harmony with each other. Their distinctly different hymns mashing together in another song of nature's multiple choruses. The deep, never-seeming-to-end azure sky was spotted with fluffy white clouds.

Kaien absolutely loved it here, and he thought to himself with an amused expression, so does Kuchiki.

He couldn't help but watch with warm disregard as the seemingly cold and emotionless, the "perfect little sister" of a powerful family, discard the china doll princess act and instead, run through the mid-calf length grass that rippled with the powerful breeze. Her carefree smile displayed obviously across her delicate features, and even though he didn't hear her, Kaien would have been sure to hear that she was laughing inside, joyously. Adjusting his small Shiba sack, Kaien shouted at her in order to keep her from wondering off and potentially getting lost (as he was absolutely certain that only she could do),

"OI! Where're you goin'?! This is the spot!"

He watched with a small smile quirked on his lips as she slowly came to a stop. She turned to look at the large, grassy mountain roughly a mile away, her chest ballooning and her eyes filled with emotion. Dropping his bag beside a fallen down tree, Kaien waited for her to return, the care-free smile still on her face. His hand rested on the juncture of the hilt of his sword and the end of his sheath. Once she placed her bag beside his, he didn't waste any time. In a flash, he whipped out his zanpaktou, the sun shining sharply against the finely tuned blade.

"Prepare yourself!" he barked. Rukia, breath hitching, ducked and almost as quickly as he, unsheathed her still dormant zanpaktou.

The sharp twang of their blades' finely sharpened edges echoed in the clearing, eventually getting lost in the turbulent winds that howled and whistled around their ears, ruffling their clothes and playing with their hair. With a hard shove, Kaien sent Rukia flying away from him; instead of collapsing on the sweet-scented grass, Rukia placed a hand on the ground and pushed herself back up into the air in a one-handed back flip. To place more distance between them, Rukia jumped further back until there was a good thirty feet between them.

Sleeves flapping in the breeze, Rukia bit her lip and clenched her hilt tightly with faintly quivering hands. Her eyes narrowed before closing. She took in a deep, meditative breath. _Please…_she pleaded quietly, reaching out to her zanpaktou. _Tell me how to use you, I wish to learn your secrets, your power. I want to become stronger! I want to impress Nii-sama! I want to prove myself to the Kuchiki family! I won't be a Rukongai street rat! I WILL BE SOMEONE!_

Amethyst eyes snapping open, Rukia sprinted forward; her image flickering with shunpo as she zigzagged to the firmly planted thirteenth division fukutaichou. Kaien narrowed his eyes. He placed one foot steadfast behind him; his hands shifted.

Kaien quickly apprehended Rukia's katana aiming to at his kidneys from behind. In a quick flicker, he disappeared to reappear behind Rukia. Whirling around, Rukia brought her sword up to parry his downward stroke. With a quick jar of his wrists, Kaien quickly wrapped his blade underneath Rukia's and flung it out of her small, but extremely tight grasp. He narrowed his eyes, hissing as the small area between them began to faintly glow an eerie, white-blue light.

"HADOU 33: SOUKATSUI!" Rukia cried, her palm facing Kaien's unprotected chest. Her violet gaze was hard and determined.

With a flash of shunpo, Kaien appeared into the sky, his pitch-black swaying in the breeze. Caribbean blue eyes took in the decimated row of trees approximately fifty yards behind him from the blast of energy.

_Her kidou is definitely better than Kiyone and Sentaro's…_

A small black dot raced forward, a hand grasping the hilt of the ground-implanted sword. Not a second later, Rukia launched off of the long-grassed ground. The sun's bright rays played along the deadly, upturned edge on her blade, causing it to flash. Swinging his sword down, Kaien heaved his upper body strength forward, sending the little Kuchiki princess plummeting back to Earth.

Gritting her teeth, Rukia opened her eyes to gasp. _N-Nani? Where's Kaien-dono!? SHIMATTA!_

Twisting her body, Rukia managed to catch a glimpse of a small trail of pitch-black hair and a large, heart-stopping, cocky grin.

"Too slow!"

A rough hand grasped the back of her shinigami uniform before sharply pulling backward. Her world suddenly whirling in a blur of colors, Rukia couldn't stop the movement as he slammed her into the ground. Back exploding in pain, Rukia released a small scream. Her vision blossomed behind her tightly-clenched eyelids in the formations of brightly colored stars.

Squeezing her eyes tightly, Rukia fought with everything she had not to black out. Mind racing a thousand miles per hour, Rukia fired the first kidou spell that came to mind:

"Bakudou 1: First Restraint Obstruction!"

Kaien gritted his teeth as his arms were quickly pulled behind by an invisible pair of hands. The hands painfully crossed his arms on top of each other. He suddenly felt as if large chains that weighed a ton were encircling him, anchoring him to his knees. Rukia, with her katana, scooted away and was able to get to her feet when he balled up a large amount of reiatsu in the pit of his stomach and fiercely unleashed it. The amount of reiatsu he used overrode Rukia's and canceled the spell. On his feet in a flash, Kaien rushed forward, his blade flashing against the sun. Rukia, panting, made a horizontal swing upward, causing their blades to clash.

Sweat was pouring down her face as Rukia struggled underneath Kaien's onslaught. _D…Don't give up!_ She mentally chanted to herself as her arms began to tremble violently. She watched in dismay as Kaien-dono's face was the perfect imitation of her Nii-sama's: cold, aloof, and indifferent. He pushed harder; Rukia's eyes widened in panic. Kaien suddenly lifted his sword, causing Rukia to falter from the sudden change. Violently, Kaien swooped down and knocked her sword out of her grasp. Before she could do anything, he swung into a roundhouse kick. Her eyes widened as his heel plunged into her stomach. Gasping in pain, Rukia found herself flying from her fukutaichou, tumbling amongst the sweetness of the tall grass. Finally rolling to a stop, Rukia clutched her throbbing stomach. Moaning into the soft grass, Rukia felt her sweat rolling down her, without a doubt, reddened face. Trembling in exhaustion, Rukia clenched her fists.

"SHIMATTA!" she whispered underneath her breath harshly, tears stirring into her gaze.

**Get up, little one. Get up. Face him.**

Biting her lip, Rukia looked up when hearing something solid landing near her. Lying before her, almost hidden by the tall grass, was her katana. Her eyes caught Kaien-dono's fierce blue eyes. He had his katana lying against his shoulder. His other hand was on his hip. Rukia's breath got caught in her throat. His lips were marked in a frown and his stance was rigid and commanding. This wasn't Kaien-dono. This wasn't the Kaien-dono with his insane and boisterous laughter and jokes, his eccentricities and outbursts, or the Kaien-dono that was unbelievably kind and compassionate and caring…this was Shiba-fukutaichou of the Thirteenth Division. This was a commander, a teacher, a highly-ranked officer.

"Get up, Kuchiki!" he shouted at her, his hand holding the hilt of his zanpaktou tightening. "We're not through yet! UP!"

Rukia, eyes narrowing, allowed a small growl of frustration and determination to escape her. Wiping her eyes briefly to clean the sweat from her forehead and face, Rukia reached down and grabbed the hilt of her katana. Shifting her body into an offensive stance with one foot pointed at Kaien and in front of the other, Rukia pointed the tip of her blade at him.

"HAI!"

Sprinting forward, Rukia's eyes hardened. _I WON'T GIVE UP!_

When she got close enough within range of his katana, Rukia momentarily surprised Kaien by ducking, plunging her blade into the grassy tundra. Using the hilt as a pivot, Rukia swung her body horizontally at Kaien in a full-body roundhouse. Ducking low to the ground, Kaien evaded her attack, her feet just barely brushing against the tips of the strands on his head. Reaching out, he wrapped his big hand around one of her small ankles and pulled harshly. Twisting her body as fast and securely as she could without breaking her captured leg, Rukia swung her fist at Kaien's upper region, aiming for a central nerve point on his neck. She wrenched the katana out of the ground and swung it downward. Her arms trembled as Kaien swung his blade to meet hers. Her eyes widened when she suddenly found herself flown away from his person, tumbling once again on the sweet-scented ground.

"AGAIN!" Kaien ordered sharply, his stance rigid and unmoving. Rukia suddenly realized that Kaien-dono had not left the spot he was standing before when fighting with her. _I'll make him move!_

Thrusting forward, two katanas clashed, flickering every now and then in result to the brightly shining sun. Right, left, right, left, downward swipe, horizontal from the right, parry, defend, attack, deflect, charge, right, left, right, left, left, right, left, right.

With a burst of energy, Kaien swung hard enough to knock her zanpaktou out her hands. A sudden and unexplainable gust of air assaulted Rukia, sending her backwards a couple yards. Breathing heavily with sweat drenching the front and back of her black shinigami haori, Rukia felt her legs and arms trembling from exhaustion. Timidly, hesitantly, Rukia wondered inwardly why Kaien-dono was being so relentless today. She was shaken out of her thoughts as a katana landed before her feet.

"AGAIN!"

Ten minutes later, Rukia cringed as she landed soundly on her left hip.

"AGAIN!"

Nine minutes of thirty-eight seconds later, Rukia stumbled backwards until falling ungracefully on her bottom.

"AGAIN!"

Eight minutes and fifteen seconds later, Rukia lied face down in the grass, several yards away from her fukutaichou, her world seeing bright, imaginary colors.

Turning her head to the side, Rukia tried with all of her might to hold back the tears as her body cried out her anguish through other ways. Her throat tightened and her chest constricted, her fingers grasped at the blades of grass with a primal longing, trying hard with all her might to keep herself anchored into her reality and to not slip away into peaceful darkness. Her face twisted into a somewhat fearful grimace as she heard the irritatingly familiar rattle and slice of a katana landing near her.

"AGAIN!"

Six minutes and three seconds later, Rukia stared up at the pure blue sky in a daze, hopelessness etched into her features as she wondered what the point of all of this nonsense was. Her back tingled hotly in pain – there was sure to be a nasty bruise tomorrow morning.

Tremblingly, Rukia managed to sit up. Her haori and upper portion of her black hakamas were soaked with sweat. With a passing thought, she wondered how long they had been training since they arrived at Hokutan earlier in the afternoon. A sudden glare caught her tired eye. Rukia's shoulders slumped as she looked at her still brightly gleaming katana. In trepidation, Rukia looked up to find her superior in the same stance once again, straight and tall and lightly bouncing his katana against his broad shoulders like a baseball bat, a free hand resting on his hip. His eyes were blazing, a frown marring his usually grinning lips.

"AGAIN!" he hollered at her.

She really didn't want to; Rukia couldn't tell if she would be able to get up or not. But…Rukia glared at the grass in between her bent, outstretched legs. She would NOT appear weak in front of him! She would NOT give up! Not like back at the Shinigami Academy where she was mocked and harassed and gossiped behind her back. She gives up too easily, they snobbishly remarked. She doesn't have any drive, they whispered scathingly. Why is she even here, they asked venomously. She's nothing but a street rat who would rather fight with her fists and steal to survive, they talked to each other loud enough so that their hurtful words graced her ears, she needs to go back where she belongs!

Snatching the hilt roughly, Rukia forced herself to her feet, even though her knees were gently knocking against each other. Pure hot anger pumped by her outraged heart, coursed through her veins, flushing her cheeks. Clenching the hilt until her hands almost bled, Rukia rushed forward.

_I'll show them! I WON'T BE A STREET RAT ANY LONGER!_

Left, right, left, right, right, left, right, right, left, right, left, right.

"Hadou 33: Soukatsui!"

Kaien leaped high into the air and backwards. Rukia, secretly rejoicing at finally making him move, rushed forward, sweaty face and arms gleaming.

"HAH!"

Left, right, left, right, left, right. Chest ballooning, Rukia pushed as much of her strength into her swings. Kaien calmly looked at her outraged and animated face.

_Her swings are different,_ he noted with a approval. _They are more blood thirsty. They have strength and drive, the will to fight, behind them. She's finally following her instincts instead of thinking about her previous mistakes._

They slowly edged clear to the forest outline of the clearing.

Left, right, left. Rukia swung her katana downward as hard as she could. She gritted her teeth as Kaien-dono refused to move any more. At a stand still, both pushing forward and making their blades rattled and squeak from the oppressing forces.

_I won't lose! I'll prove to them that I do belong here! I won't be a street rat of Rukongai, I am a shinigami of the Gotei 13. I'll prove my worth! I'll become so strong they won't realize who I am! I'll become a seated officer! I will learn about my zanpaktou! I will – _

A bird swiftly took flight from its perch on the tree branch above them.

Startled, Rukia, for a split second, moved her eyes to the little creature. It was enough for Kaien to tilt his katana enough to the side and jar it from her grasp. Expertly, Kaien flung the katana towards him. Rukia watched in disappointment as he caught the sword with a quirk of an eyebrow. Sheepishly, Rukia rubbed the back of her head. The petite girl flinched as her whole body suddenly began to throb in aches and pain. _Oh crap…_Already she could feel her muscles tightening; Rukia feared what she would be feeling later on tomorrow. Kami help her.

GGGGGRRrrrrrruuunnGRrrrrruinnnngggg……

Rukia's eyes snapped open in horrified mortification, her cheeks immediately flaming into a hot cherry pink. Her hands quickly grasped her gurgling stomach. She grudgingly looked up at her fukutaichou to only whine inwardly. His face, once so serious, was now relaxed into a wise-ass expression. His lips were pulled into a smug and sly grin.

"Hungry, huh? Geez, Kuchiki! You're so needy."

Flushing brightly in embarrassment, Rukia sputtered. "I-I AM _NOT_!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, Kuchiki." Turning his back to his younger charge, Kaien gleefully heard her huff in indignation. "Alright, let's take a beak. RICE BALLS!" He cheered almost fanatically as he almost _skipped_ away to his sack lying innocently against a nearby log.

Pouting, Rukia followed him, her dejected gaze lingering on her dormant zanpaktou…which was suddenly being thrown at her face.

"AIIIEEEEE!" Frantically, Rukia fought to capture her sword without poking her eyes out. Once safely grasping on to the hilt, Rukia whirled to her fukutaichou to find him sitting himself on the log and eagerly digging into his bag for his lunch. "KAIEN-DONO! It's unsafe to throw an unsheathed katana when the person isn't looking!"

"Neh, neh! Pipe down, will ya!? Eat already!" he sassed back at her without tearing his gaze from his bag. His overly animated eyes lit up like Christmas lights as he grasped hold of a couple of home-made rice balls. Koganehiko and Shiruganehiko were excellent cooks despite their embarrassing outbursts of praise and loyalty to him, Kukkaku, Ganju and to the rest of the Shiba Clan.

Silently, Rukia took a seat not too far away from him on the log, digging briefly into her bag for a rice ball. Staring at the food cradled in her throbbing, swollen hands, Rukia couldn't build up the urge to eat it. Her features twisted into a somewhat calm yet far more forlorn and melancholy expression.

The breeze combed through her already rumpled hair, cooling her sweaty and overheated skin. Rukia held in a shiver as the breeze hit her wet haori, chilling her. Glancing briefly at her zanpaktou, Rukia bit her lip.

_What was the point…_Her hands trembled slightly. Her throat acquired an unexpected dryness. Her eyes prickled hotly with unshed tears. Her nose began to tingle. _What was the point of coming to the Shinigami Academy? What was the point of teaching Renji and myself to read and write and attend classes to become shinigami when it is utterly apparent that I am nothing more than a failure? _Looking away from her sword, Rukia instead chose to look at the ground and the rustling green blades. _I had greater spiritual control than Renji…and yet he is progressing better and farther than me. He will be graduating from the Academy with a diploma and certification of having a full seven years of education underneath his belt while I took the easy way out, the coward's way out. I only have two years of schooling behind me. Yes, I have a diploma and a certificate to verify my status as a shinigami, but what the hell does that prove? That I am able to escape hard-earned work? _

_I am not worthy to be a shinigami. If anyone deserved to be a shinigami and graduate early from the Academy should be Renji. I heard all of the rumors and gossip about him. He had always been praised for his kenjutsu and his hard work and optimistic personality. And even though his kidou control was never really good, he still managed to make it work for him. He has confidence in himself and in those around him. He isn't jaded…not like me._

_I am too pessimistic and overbearing. I can't trust my life to my fellow comrades in my year like Renji can. I can't escape my insecurities and push myself and put all of myself on the line for something right away like Renji can. I always have to have a back up plan, preferring to accept that something bad would happen instead of trying to believe. My fighting skills are terrible and even though I am smart intellectually and have above average kidou skills, there are far more people above me with better capabilities outshining mine. I am nothing but a wash-out. _

Rukia couldn't keep the tears from leaking from the corners of her eyes. Hurriedly, Rukia quickly took the cuff of her drenched haori and wiped away the tears. Thankfully, Kaien-dono was far too busy wolfing down his onigiri (she swore she heard him 'oink' in between gasps of breath) to pay any attention to her and her pathetic, runaway emotions. Huffing silently under her breath, Rukia turned her head away from her fukutaichou to stare straight into the face of the wind, allowing its gentle caress to take away the redness that was sure to plague her eyes. She wiped her slightly running nose on the upper inside of her haori, wincing slightly in disgust as she felt the added, hot wetness touch her slightly cold and clammy skin.

She looked at her robes and felt shame stab her repeatedly.

The Gotei 13, with its taichous, fukutaichous, and subordinates, were supposed to reflect unity, protection, wisdom, and care to the souls in Soul Society that needed it. Members of the Gotei 13 held extraordinarily abnormal powers and were supposed to be leaders, looked up to by the normal souls. Rukia couldn't help but feel that she was nothing but a scam wearing a shinigami garb to pretend that she was a Gotei 13 subordinate when in reality, she was anything but. She had spiritual powers enough to be considered "gifted," but in reality, in comparison to others like her precious taichou, fukutaichou, and nii-sama, she was utterly worthless. They each held awesome powers within their own right. She had never seen his shikai, but Rukia had heard multiple stories from Ukitake-taichou and from Kaien-dono to know that any opponent that had the honor (even though Kaien-dono hadn't…_exactly_ worded it that way) to face his zanpaktou in shikai form, nevertheless bankai form, they never were allowed to continue life afterwards. And the legends that she heard about her own taichou had always made her very anxious to ask, but never with enough courage to do so, for him to release Sougyo no Kotowari.

Rukia, out of the corner of her eye, glanced at her fukutaichou, sweat dropping as she noticed him cursing under his breath at several pieces of rice sticking to his uniform. Despite how childish he acted around others, making them relax within his presence, Rukia knew that he was a fierce and very talented shinigami. He was always looked up to as some sort of demigod (only second to Ukitake-taichou) to those in Division Thirteen, and was widely acknowledged and respected upon by his fellow fukutaichou peers and unranked officers from many different divisions. He was a shinigami idol, looked upon as a goal to become in the future, a goal for others to strive towards. He was successful, had siblings, had a beautiful wife, and was a prodigy. He had everything. And yet, Rukia couldn't find the reason why he wished to be an officer of the Gotei 13, or more or less, be a fukutaichou of squad Thirteen.

Every person had their own reason for becoming a shinigami in the first place, some with reasons far more important and honor worthy than others.

She only became a shinigami to escape the starvation and the desecration of Inuzuri.

And she knew it was a selfish reason, an unworthy reason…

When she looked at other people like Matsumoto-fukutaichou, Ukitake-taichou, Kaien-dono, Nii-sama, Unohana-taichou, Kiyone-chan, Sentaro-kun, Miyako-dono, and even, Kami forbid, Ikkaku, Rukia couldn't help but feel as if she was out of place…that she didn't belong there. And it silently killed her inside to feel that way. Rukia felt worse here than when she did in Rukongai. At least back there she didn't feel so unworthy, so dirty, and so guilty.

"What was the point…?" she whispered quietly underneath her breath, "Why am I even here?"

Her heart quivered.

Unexpectedly, Kaien answered her question for her.

"Isn't it obvious?!" Kaien looked at her as if she a crazy, a rice ball clutched possessively in his grasp. "To protect, that's why!"

Rukia looked at him in confusion and frustration, her shoulders slumped. "Protect what, though?"

"Well, you know…important stuff!"

Rukia blanched. "Can't you be more specific?"

Releasing an aggravated sigh, Kaien determinedly gazed off into the distance with a pondering expression. Giving another small sigh, Kaien directed his deep blue eyes to his small subordinate. For a moment, his expression softened.

_Byakuya-baka really pulled her out from the Academy far too early._

Her large eyes stared at him expectantly, childishly. A sudden weight settled in his stomach and on his shoulders. Kaien couldn't help but feel a sudden burst of anger at the rokutaichou. He had sent in his "imouto" into the Gotei 13 before she was mentally ready.

Kaien stopped for a moment to find a way to explain it to her without too much confusion.

"Say, Kuchiki," he started out lightly, "have you ever heard of our taichou's belief on life?" Of course she hadn't, but he needed to have a cool opening phrase to his awesome speech he was about to deliver with such grandeur that his poor little subordinate will be weeping tears of admiration. Rukia shook her head, curiosity shining in her amethyst orbs. "Taichou always categorizes battles of life into two sections: the battle for pride…and the battle for life."

A fond smile stretched onto his face as he turned to look at his favorite training spot, near Mountain Koifushi. The plains of grass stretched on for miles, making the Earth seem a never ending theme of shades of green. Trees of multiple species, inhabiting a wide variety of mammals, sprouted from the ground with their powerful trunks. Briefly, Kaien watched in admiration as a doe pranced smoothly across the meadow near the foot of the mountain; the genteel mammal looked to be floating, its hooves barely touching the forest floor.

A real, serious bout of contemplation overtook his features.

"To me," he whispered, "I think that both battles ultimately end up protecting the same thing."

"The same thing?"

He glanced back at Rukia with a warm smile, the smile of a mentor passing on a powerful secret to its student.

"The heart."

Rukia looked at him in misunderstanding. Her face faulted as she took his answer as another way to act cool and be a smart-ass at the same time. Even though she found it to be a little romantic (not that she would EVER tell him that), Rukia pulled off a perfectly bored and unimpressed scowl.

"The heart? Neh, that's lame."

Kaien's eyes snapped open in a fury as he roared at her in annoyance, "GOD DAMN IT, KUCHIKI! I WAS _ACTUALLY_ TRYING TO BE SERIOUS HERE!"

_Oops._

Rukia felt somewhat bad as he frustratingly looked off to the side, his face proclaiming how pissed off he was. Kaien rubbed his head in thought before continuing in his usual voice.

"Fine, then answer me this, Kuchiki. Where do you think your heart lies?"

_Oh, damn._

Uncomfortably, Rukia looked at her chest and looked around herself to look for an answer. Apparently when finding none, Rukia glanced up at her fukutaichou (and mentally cursing him with all of her being) with her cheeks flushed a bright pink in embarrassment. Unsure, Rukia cautiously placed her hand in the center of her chest.

"I…I guess here, isn't it?"

"Under normal circumstances, yes. Demo," Kaien took up his arm and made his hand clench into a fist. "the heart that I'm referring to lies here. Heart is born where connections are made." He smiled at her, sending weird butterflies to flutter in her stomach. "Kuchiki, the moment we interacted with each other, the moment we saw each other, heart was born between us. Miyako and I have a heart, Ukitake-taichou and you have a heart…heart is born with friends and family, Kuchiki. Remember this, Kuchiki. We shinigami fight for the heart, for our friends and family. Heart is more than just an organ, more than just what keeps us living, it is what holds our memories and feelings, our dreams, power, and aspirations; the heart is essentially us.

"And that is why I am going to give you a life-time order, Kuchiki." His eyes hardened in resolve at her.

"Whether it would be now or in the future, whether you would be in squad thirteen or not, when you are engaged in a battle and you don't know if you'll ever survive…promise me this: DON'T. EVER. DIE. ALONE. If you die alone, you won't have anyone to give your heart to, no one to preserve your memory and move on. Give your heart to your nakama, Kuchiki. That is all I ask."

Rukia's fingers prided themselves deeply into her haori, clenching the spot where she felt the gentle pulse of her heart beat. Ba-bump…Ba-bump…Ba-bump…Ba-bump…Ba-bump.

'We fight for the heart…'

_Is that everyone's desire?_ Rukia couldn't help but wonder as she mildly began to eat her rice ball, her eyes gazing at nothing. Kaien, after stretching his stiff muscles, proclaimed that it was time to head back to Seireitei. Rukia quickly placed her one-fourth eaten meal back into her sack. Slinging it over her shoulder, Rukia forced her screaming legs to follow her fukutaichou.

_Does everyone fight for the same reason, to protect the heart? Or is that just Kaien-dono's validation? Does Nii-sama fight for the heart? Will Renji fight for his heart? _

Rukia watched in a daze as they made their way through the remaining districts of Rukongai and through the Seireitei wall.

_But…even if they don't fight for the heart, we all fight to protect something._

A sense of wisdom blossomed within her, causing a smile to finally grace her lips in understanding.

_Whether it would be pride, independence, power, family, friends, or a way to escape pain…in the end we all fight to protect ourselves and each other. _

_But where does my heart lie? Who is my nakama?_

After respectively bowing and gracing her fukutaichou with a goodbye, Rukia began to make her way back to the Kuchiki Estate, internally hoping she didn't come across any of the Kuchiki Elders. She really didn't wish to see them looking at her with distain, further more wrinkling their nose at her rather less than dignified appearance.

She glanced at the luxurious manor with finely polished and well-maintained roof tiles, exotic sculptures, and formal structure. Deep within its contents she thought of the stuck up nobles, the overly thin yet beautiful ladies of the manor who discreetly and effectively spread webs of lies and the men who sneer at her and would further his own ambition. She thought of the cold demeanor of the Elders with their squinty and scrutinizing stares, their ever permanent frowns, and countless wrinkles, their aura wreaking their disapproval of her in waves unchecked. She thought of her Nii-sama, aloof, indifferent, and stoic, never really greeting her or engaging her conversation…

She thought of Squad Thirteen with the ever insane and energetic co-fourth seats, Kiyone and Sentaro, of the sweet yet still slightly insane and beautiful Miyako, with her loud, obnoxious and overzealous and over-caring Kaien-dono, and of her sweet, caring, and warm taichou. She thought of her multiple training sessions in kendo, of shunpo with Miyako, and of her kidou matches with Kiyone and Sentaro and some other higher-ranking officers within her squad. She thought of the large and blinding smile, so sugary sweet, far sweeter than the treats almost daily handed out. She thought of the moments that pushed her o be the Rukia she really was, the independent and uncaring Rukia of Inuzuri who did what she want rather than the Kuchiki Rukia, her new persona that forced her into a submissive role, of being perfect and of poise.

She thought of the crimson-haired, red-eyed boy she grew up with, her initial nakama, her best friend.

She thought of the tall figure hovering on the edge of her consciousness with his mysterious, smug and challenging smile, long light blue hair, electric blue eyes, pale white skin, and the solitary long sleeve flapping in the wind.

Rukia, safe in her room after a nice, hot bath and in a freshly laundered sleeping yukata, tucked away snuggly in her futon, gave a secret smile.

She knew where her heart lies…and that's all that matters.

As she drifted off to sleep, Rukia could have sworn that she felt a large, cold hand soothingly stroke her tresses away from her face, a solitary finger trailing against her cheek on affection. An invisible pair of lips gently moved against the shell of her ear, lulling her further into sleep.

"You're ready…"

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Yeah! Finally updated! Sheesh, I really hate school. Sorry for the late update. I can't make very many promises when it comes to updatig because, heh heh, school work is important to me and I have so much, sigh. I will do what I can, though!

Thank you so much for the reviews!!! XD

INFO: Manga chapter 268, page 8-11

Miss Artemis

PLEASE REVIEW! More reviews equals a possible faster update! (AT LEAST IT MOTIVATES ME TO!)

NEXT TIME: Will Rukia finally be able to learn her zanpaktou's name? Or will Sode no Shirayuki continue to be a pain in the neck?


	4. Chapter 4

Akuen

DISCLAIMER: NO OWN.

Sometimes, it is in the back of a man  
Who works hard to feed his family.

Sometimes, it is in the arms of a person  
Who is fighting for his freedom.

Sometimes, it is in the will power of a person  
Who is fending off an addiction.

Sometimes, it is in the spirit of a mother  
Who will not give up on her dying child.

Sometimes, it is in the character of a person  
Who acts honorably in the midst of dishonorable people.

Sometimes, it is in the soul of a person  
Who continues to pray even though he believes God has forsaken him.

Sometimes, it is in the heart of a person  
Who loves but is not loved.

"Strength" by G. Rynk

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Chapter 3: Trouble Brewing

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The world was cold.

The trees were ice sculptures, the lake frozen deep to the core, the ground covered in frost and powdered snow. The sky, like usual, was a midnight black, faint diamond-like stars twinkling delicately across the dark canvas. An unbelievably large azure moon shined and sparkled, a shimmering mist of fog and ice particles floating around the air-buoyant object. The light blue rays brought out the beauty in every cold and frigid object; when the moon shined, everything seemed to come to life, everything was perfect and beautiful.

Except for him.

Long hair lazily swaying with the cool breeze, the man thrust forward into a low, wide sweep; arms artistically positioned away from his sides, a long sword gleaming against the moon's gaze. A quick tap of his foot, the man whirled himself around in a three hundred and sixty-degree mid-swipe before effortlessly jumping into a roundhouse kick. His elegant fighting kimono of silks and linens flapped gently in the surrounding area.

Narrowed, electric blue eyes were for once out of focus, thinking beyond his training motions.

_Three thousand, nine hundred and sixty-seven…Three thousand, nine hundred and sixty-eight…_

The man, in a series of complicated footsteps and maneuvers, moved backward, parrying an invisible opponent. His tall, lean body swerving to an unheard melody as he gracefully moved about, cutting in elegant trails into the ankle-high snow. Strong wrist twirling, the man flipped his sword around his wrist before thrusting it into the frozen tundra, and used the hilt as a pivot after hoisting himself from the ground and into movements reminiscent of a gymnast on the horse. With fingertips glowing a pure white, the man called out into the eerily quiet world of snow and ice,

"Hadou 63: Raikouhou!"

The entire area was lit up in pure white energy, the spiritual energy crackling.

Flipping backwards in the air, the man grabbed the hilt of the sword and wrenched it from the ground before setting himself in the basic position of kendo and moving backwards once again in complicated moves of defense, cold thin lips frozen in a thin, severe line.

_Three thousand, nine hundred and sixty-nine…Three thousand, nine hundred and seventy…_

For all of its pretenses that the world of cold and its immortal, unchanging beauty was nothing but infinite perfection, the man knew better, had finally accepted after thousands of millennia, that the world he had resided in since his creation was perfect…but empty.

Only she could make this plane complete.

-

-

Caribbean blue eyes smiled affectionately at the small, departing figure now making her way hurriedly back home. At Kaien's hip, the zanpaktou thrummed with affection as both sword and master watched the Kuchiki princess hurry along home, her short black hair bouncing with her steps. When disappearing from his sight, Kaien turned around and slowly made his way back to his office where, without a doubt, will be large stacks of paperwork waiting for him to sort out reports and sign official documents.

"Mou!" the man whined childishly, "I _hate_ paperwork! Why did I agree to become Ukitake's fukutaichou again?!"

Grumbling under his breath, Kaien nonchalantly nodded back greetings from enthusiastic, but equally tired subordinates. Walking up to the steps of the walkway, Kaien paused to take off his sandals before making his way onto the walkway, fists stuffed down deeply in his pockets. As he made his way to his office, Kaien allowed a pleased grin to ghost his lips, thinking about today's training session with Kuchiki.

Every time she fell back down she came right back up, face filled with frustration and anger, but strong, unfaltering determination. Kuchiki had worked her hardest, even when she knew it was going to be pointless. She never gave up trying, never complained about the abnormal change of difficulty from their training of just learning the basics (that she hadn't learned from the Academy) to full-out battle brawl. Instead, Kuchiki had accepted it without a blink of an eye, never questioned. Instead, her eyes had grown hard, lips thinned, and battle stance all ready in place, her sword held out firmly before her.

A thoughtful expression crossed Kaien's face as he thought back to the first night he saw her.

_The little Kuchiki dodged to the side, evading the downward swipe from the seated officer before her; her eyes slightly grew wide as the impact of the sword touching the ground cracked the tundra. Billowing air wrapped around the two fighters from the force of the blow. Biting her lip, Rukia swung as hard as she could at the man, only to have him whip out his sword and parry it. The vibrations coursed up and down her arms, creating shivers down her spine. Gritting her teeth and tightening her hands around the hilt, Rukia held firm and didn't move an inch. _

_Suddenly, the man before her gathered strength behind his arms and shoved her away from him, Rukia held in a small yelp as she flew backwards, but managed to stay on her feet and bring her katana up in order to intercept another strike from the man. Unable to hold up anymore from the constant pressure, Rukia moved slightly to the side, shocking the man as he suddenly rushed forward. Jumping up, Rukia roundhouse kicked him in the back, sending him crashing to the grassy floor. Chest ballooning, Rukia placed her sword before her, not allowing herself to let her guard down as the man, growling in embarrassment as his fellow colleagues within the division laughed and teased at him for his face plant, got back up to his feet in a flash. _

_Soon, the two were exchanging blows._

_Left, right, left, right, left, right, stand still – hilt locked upon hilt, break apart then charge forward, left, right, left, right, diagonal sweep, downward sweep meets upward sweep, thrust forward, parry._

_Sweat gently coursed down her face as Rukia, arms trembling, met swing for swing. The man before her looking nothing else but a raging bull, his skin flushed an angry red, eyes half-crazed with self-disgust at not ending the match sooner than as expected._

"_Seems like little Kuchiki is holding her own, eh? Vayashi-sensei?" Kaien grinned at the man beside him. _

_Vayashi allowed his cool, magenta eyes to follow Rukia's movements, making mental notes on the mistakes she made. He took a small sip of his jasmine tea before responding,_

"_So as it seems, Shiba-fukutaichou. Kuchiki-san is doing far better than she normally does."_

"_Oi! What's with the formalities, Vayashi-sensei?! You know I hate it when you call me that!"_

_The man scowled at the fuming, Caribbean blue-eyed male. "Then why do you persistently call me sensei? _You_ know that I hate my past pupils calling me that. Makes me feel old…"_

_The two men glared at the other, before chuckling in similar truce. They both turned to find Rukia accidentally slipping on the grass as their seventh seat pushed forward relentlessly. Before her bottom made impact with the ground, Rukia grasped onto the seated officer's parted legs and swooped in between them, rolling and sliding on the other side of him and back to her feet. She rushed forward with a thrust. A loud 'clang' entered through the training area._

"_Anything that I should know about her, Vayashi?" Kaien watched the impossibly small girl that only stood up to their seventh seated officer's mid-stomach. Her amethyst eyes glowed with weariness and fatigue. Kaien gave a soft, sympathetic smile. For a newbie who only had two years of schooling, the runt was doing pretty well. He looked at the timer to find it nearing fifteen minutes._

_Vayashi gave a small, fond smile at the small girl before replying, "Rukia has always been an arduous learner, Kaien-dono. Her advantages lie in kidou and hand-to-hand. Her zanjutsu had always been mediocre, but she tries. Back at the Academy, Rukia always came to me for help with her swordsmanship after school."  
_

"_Where did she come from?"_

_Vayashi's eyes darkened, "She came from Rukongai with another, a young man by the name of Abarai Renji."_

_Kaien blinked in surprise. He looked at the girl with skepticism. _

"_Really? Rukongai? I kind of find it hard to believe…"_

"_Just look at her knuckles, she has the same scars as the others."_

_Kaien narrowed his eyes, searching. He looked at her hands when she and the seated officer met again in a stalemate. Sure enough, a collection of layered scars, scars from fist fights, decorated her knuckles. They were pale, yet still noticeable when paid attention to. _

_The ache of pity grew larger within the fukutaichou as he tried to imagine how a little girl such as her was able to grow up in Rukongai, "What district," he whispered._

"_The seventy-eighth district, Inuzuri."_

"_Are you fucking kidding me?!" Kaien gasped, eyes wide. "That's one of the roughest places in Soul Society! How in the hell did she survive?"_

_Vayashi gave a sigh, "Kaien-dono, I learned to never question "why" and just let it be. Besides, I don't think I want to know how she survived. It must have been a pretty lonely existence."_

"_You're telling me…"_

_Kaien glanced at the clock. The match was nearing eighteen minutes._

"_Kaien-dono." Kaien glanced at the serious looking, blonde-haired man._

"_Hai?"_

"_Please look after her. Rukia is still very naïve despite of her upbringing. She's the type who hates to be given the easy way out. I know for certain that being adopted into the Kuchiki family, being forced from the Academy and into the Gotei 13 without any real education, is killing her and her pride. She's the kind who has lived her life in the toughest situations, survived by working hard and doing her best. I will bet you a million yen here and now that Rukia feels that she doesn't deserve to be here in the Gotei 13. She had to hear it from the noble students in the Academy every day that she didn't even deserve to be in the Academy, let alone the Gotei 13. I might be asking of the impossible from you, Kaien-dono…but please, try to make her understand that she does belong here."_

"_The match is now concluded!" cried one of the judges. _

_Kaien and Vayashi looked up to find Rukia kneeling on the grass, shoulders slumped in exhaustion and sweat trailing down her face before dripping off of her chin and onto the forest floor. Her large amethyst eyes were filled with self-disgust and pity, yet reluctant acceptance as she shakily grabbed her katana and sheathed it away. Shakily standing up, Rukia bowed low to the man before her in gratitude._

_Rukia bit her lip and turned to the judges who were whispering amongst each other. Eventually, with the clearing now unbearably quiet, the head judge, an elderly shinigami from the Central 46, cleared his throat and announced,_

"_Kuchiki Rukia, we have analyzed your efficiency in shunpo (Rukia flinched at that disaster), hand-to-hand combat, kidou, and now zanjutsu. It is utterly evident that you are behind in your teachings in shunpo and hand-to-hand combat – taking in to consideration of your early graduation from the Shinigami Academy upon your adoption into the Kuchiki family, we have come to the conclusion that although your kidou is far above acceptable, you still have yet a lot to learn before you gain a seated position. Thank you for your cooperation today. That will be all."_

_Kaien watched as the Kuchiki princess took in a deep breath before schooling her features from any emotion and instead to a familiar stoic expression. She bowed forward once again, causing her hair to cover her eyes._

"_Arigatou gozaimasu for taking the time to examine me."_

_Slowly, everyone began to depart from the clearing. Kaien looked up to find Vayashi already standing, his expression showing no shock from the official decision given. Bidding a solemn goodbye, Vayashi walked away, his magenta eyes echoing with pity for the girl still breathing heavily from where she stood, in the center of the clearing. _

Kaien narrowed his eyes at the floor as he made his way closer to his office door.

She had changed so much from the meek mouse she had once been two years ago. Her fighting style had been mediocre and straightforward with no room for improvement. Anyone who had fought her before until now, would have been able to quickly devise a strategy to take her down. But now…Kaien thought back to their training session earlier that day and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. He had first been teaching the midget the basics all over again, Shiba style. From thrusting to blocking to evading, Kaien had taught Rukia the fighting style of the renowned Shiba clan. In truth, he was teaching her the way he had been taught how to fight from the tutors his father had set up for him when he was young, many centuries ago. But recently, she had been deviating from his style of fighting. No longer did she use his tactics without question – instead, she had begun to invent her own style of fighting, one he had never seen used before: such as using her katana as a pole in order to swing her body.

**Wiping her eyes briefly to clean the sweat from her forehead and face, Rukia reached down and grabbed the hilt of her katana. Shifting her body into an offensive stance with one foot pointed at Kaien and in front of the other, Rukia pointed the tip of her blade at him.**

"**HAI!"**

**Sprinting forward, Rukia's eyes hardened. **_**I WON'T GIVE UP!**_

**When she got close enough within range of his katana, Rukia momentarily surprised Kaien by ducking, plunging her blade into the grassy tundra. Using the hilt as a pivot, Rukia swung her body horizontally at Kaien in a full-body roundhouse. Ducking low to the ground, Kaien evaded her attack, her feet just barely brushing against the tips of the strands on his head.**

Furthermore, the "perfect princess" was becoming a loudmouth, especially when she was alone with him, Kiyone, Sentaro, and Miyako and there were no spectators around to witness her "disgusting, commoner displays" as the Kuchiki Elders would have proclaimed. But truthfully, now that he thought about it, Kaien looked at the handle of his door with an uncharacteristic expression of deep-thought, never minding the fact that he was just absently standing in the hallway where anyone could see him.

Was Kuchiki really changing herself the longer she stayed within the division?

Or had she always been this way…and was finally opening herself up to them?

_I've known her for a couple years now…_He rubbed the back of his head._ I know everything there is to know about her fighting style, her progress within her studies, and of her duties to the division. I know where she came from and I know how her life was at the Academy, and I know that she evades going to the Kuchiki Manor as much as humanly possible…but do I really know her as a person? What was she like back then? And is it any different than how she is now? _

Making a mental note to snoop around about her later, Kaien pouted and opened the door, clenching his eyes tightly in order to stall the inevitability of having to sign mountains of paperwork before going home to annoying siblings (with their experimentations on the newly invented concept of fireworks – Kaien damned the person who created the colorful explosions, even though he did take in entertainment from them every once and a while) and his beautiful, lovely wife.

With a rush, Kaien slammed open the shoji door and hesitantly gazed at the state of his office.

And blanched in surprise and mild (but ever growing and unstable) irritation.

Kiyone and Sentaro, seated on opposite sides of his large and stately and official-looking desk, were currently slumped against said surface, blissfully ignorant of the spirit world around them and instead had smiles pasted on their faces, enjoying the dreams they were currently victim to.

Dozens of piled papers surrounded the desk with neat, but distinctly two different writing styles.

For a moment, Kaien allowed his scowling face to relax. Eyes softening at his obviously dead-beat tired subordinates, Kaien couldn't help but feel grateful for the annoying and overbearing co-fourth seats for doing the paperwork that was originally his to do. He smiled and thought for a moment, that maybe, he would go easy on them and send them right on to the division barracks.

That was until he saw them _drooling_ on unfinished documents that required a signature AND stamp from both Ukitake AND himself.

"YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!"

"ITAI!" they both cried out in shock and pain, their hands grasping their throbbing and aching skulls. Face flushed angrily, Kaien grabbed the scruff of their collars and despite Kiyone's yelp and Sentaro's indignant shrieks, managed to bellow out over their racket.

"WHAT IN GOD'S SAKES ARE YOU DOING IN MY OFFICE, YA MORONS!"

"ANSWER HIM, SENTARO, FOR HE IS OBVIOUSLY TALKING TO YOU!" Kiyone hissed. Sentaro felt his eye twitch.

"STUPID DUMBASS, HE SAID MORON_S_ AS IN _PLURAL_!"

"WHO ARE YA CALLIN' DUMBASS, YOU DUMBASS!"

"YOU OBVIOUSLY YA TWIT!"

"Oh! I understand why you're so upset!" Kiyone crooned with a smirk absolutely dripping with smugness. "You finally realized that I did the most paperwork and thus am the best subordinate! Come on, stinky buffoon, no one likes a sore loser."

Sentaro struggled to wrap his hands around Kiyone's neck where he could hope to snap it in half. Kaien was making that feat unbelievably hard.

"Shut up the both of you!" Kaien roared, his unstable temperament hitting the roof. The noise coming from the office sent many shinigami in the hall outside scurrying away in hopes of keeping the attention away from them and onto the unlucky fourth seats.

"I AM THE BEST SUBORDINATE WIHTIN THIS DIVISION!" crowed Sentaro.

"NO YOU'RE NOT! I AM! UKITAKE-TAICHOU OBVIOUSLY FAVORS ME ABOVE YOU!"

"THE ONLY REASON YOU'RE HERE IS BECAUSE OF YOUR SISTER, KOTETSU! HE ONLY AGREED TO HAVE YOU IN HIS SQUAD BECAUSE HE PITIED YOU!"

"I'M HERE BECAUSE I AM CAPABLE, UNLIKE A DIRTY MONKEY LIKE YOU WHO SLEEPS ON THE JOB!"

"IN CASE YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN, YOU FELL ASLEEP TOO!"

"NONSENSE! I WAS ONLY RESTING MY EYES!"

"AND DROOLING ON THE DOCUMENTS?"

"WHICH YOU'VE DONE AS WELL!"

Kaien slammed the door shut with a sigh. His head throbbed with an impossibly huge migraine, his ears throbbing from their yells. Digging his hands deep into his pockets, Kaien walked away.

Fuck the office, fuck his room. The imbeciles could have it if they wanted it so badly.

_I still have to see to those stupid forms though._ He inwardly whined.

GGGGGGRRRRRRRIiniinnnnnnGGGGGhhUUURRINnnnnnnggg….

"Damn," Kaien glanced at his rumbling stomach, "how can I still be hungry??"

Shrugging his shoulders, Kaien made a mental note about the papers. The sudden thought of home where Koganehiko and Shiruganehiko would be more than willing to cook up a midnight snack for him sent Kaien skipping while merrily humming a tune under his breath. The situation with his office, with two clowns currently trying to kill one another and stain his floors with their blood, was completely wiped from his mind.

"Konnichiwa, Kaien-dono!" chirped a passing young woman. Kaien looked over his shoulder to find the girl smiling at him, her cheeks flushed and green eyes sparkling. He gave a slight smile.

"Konnichiwa, Fuyu! Don't stay up too late, ya hear! It would be bad for others to find out I have subordinates working harder than me!" he joked lightly. He gazed at her curiously as she laughed a little bit longer than usual. Shrugging his shoulders, Kaien continued hopping away, blissfully ignorant of the strange and enquiring gazes of lower-ranked shinigami.

Akinowa Fuyu gazed after her fukutaichou, her bright green eyes darkening. Lifting a hand, she gently resettled her chic, fashionably styled glasses and tucked a stray black hair behind her ear.

"It's a shame," she hummed to herself, turning and walking away, "I hardly ever get to see Kaien-dono these days."

Her footsteps were light as she padded away to her small, insignificant ninth-seat office within the barracks. Her long black hair swayed side to side with her movements. Opening the shoji door when reaching her destination, Fuyu firmly closed it behind her and made way to her desk that was pushed alongside the wall. She squeezed through the cabinets packed in tightly within her quarters. Settling down at her desk, the young woman placed the stack of manila folders before her. With a light smirk, she threaded through the thick pile with her manicured fingertips. She tugged out a thin folder that was slightly different from the others. There was a message stamped across the front, in red: _CLASSIFIED INFORMATION – __**AUTHORIZED PERSONEL ONLY**__!_

She flipped it open to glance at the slightly smiling face that owned a familiar pair of amethyst orbs.

"You are becoming quite the nuisance…Kuchiki Rukia."

-

-

3 Weeks Later…

-

-

Rukia could barely hold in her excitement.

After weeks of searching, weeks of interrogation, weeks of sleepless night, tough training sessions and meditation, she had finally found the answer.

The petite shinigami momentarily released an excited giggle before schooling her features once again into an expression of placid serenity. She could feel her body tremble ever the slightest in happiness as she sat in the lotus blossom position on her bed. Short black tresses swayed slightly with the light cool breeze prying its way into her room from the open shoji panel before her. The calming chirps from the morning larks coincided with the rustling of leaves out in the garden. The large fountain outside the walkway gurgled and rushed with crystal water, the rising sun making the liquid sparkle.

Behind her eyelids, Rukia walked softly within an eternal black darkness, her footsteps echoing ever the slightest in the dark abyss as she traveled. Stretching out her senses, Rukia continued forward calmly. Like the guide that a friend had lent to her had said, she felt the familiar tug in her navel signaling where she needed to go in order to reach her inner world. The surrounding air around her slowly and gradually became cooler and biting to her skin, causing goosebumps to dance up and down her arms; a sort of chill raced down her spine.

Physically on her bed, Rukia contained the urge to squeal in triumph as she closed in on her target. She mentally patted herself on the back as she tried to imagine the shocked expression her zanpaktou would be unable to quell. He won't feel so high and mighty and mysterious-like when he realized that she got to their world by herself rather than him allowing her in. That would show that cocky male who he was dealing with. Nobody messed with Kuchiki Rukia, former resident of Inuzuri.

The closer she walked, the faster the air grew frigid with ice. Soon, Rukia could see her breath crystallize before her face. Frostbite slowly formed on the hilt of her katana. Far off in the distance, Rukia saw a very faint, but distinct light on the invisible horizon. A grin splitting on her face, Rukia rushed forward, her arms pumping and legs moving as fast as they can.

_After countless hours of meditation and reading that book…after all of the failures…I'm gonna make it!_

Frost covered the invisible black ground. Tall, white, ice-covered trees became more distinct. Multiple rolling hills of glistening snow could barely be seen. An azure moon sparkled in the suddenly midnight blue sky.

Rukia gradually slowed to a stop, her chest ballooning and face flushed. Her breath escaped her in small, crystallized puffs. Looking down at the floor, Rukia found that the ground was covered in powdered snow and ice.

_Just one step…and I'll be in…_

With a triumphant whoop, Rukia jumped forward.

"I'M FINALLY H – HUH!?"

Her moment shattered before her feet managed to graze even a fleck of white.

All of a sudden, a large invisible hand roughly grabbed the back of her collar. At the same time, another hand, tightened into a stone-hard fist, slammed into her stomach. Choking on her spit, Rukia lunged forward slightly from the impact. Eyes large and out of focus and brain scrambling to understand what the hell was going on, Rukia found herself pulled backwards.

Eyes snapping open, Rukia felt her body jerked off of the bed and onto the ground, face first.

"…O-Ow…" she whimpered; her body automatically curled inward with her knees to her chest at the unexpected throbbing of her stomach.

"That…t-t-that wasn't s-supposed to happen…" she stuttered.

Wincing, Rukia sat up, her hands clenching her stomach.

"What the hell!"

Lunging forward to the low table near her, Rukia plucked a hard-covered, medium-thick book from amongst the dozens of scratch paper filled with her drawings. She eagerly flipped through the papyrus until landing on the page she needed.

**CHAPTER 3: THE STEPS TO CONNECTION**

**For every person capable of spiritual energy, one ultimately has a zanpaktou (as stated in the previous chapter). The only problem is having the potential and the determination to complete the connection and bridge the gap between the user and the zanpaktou spirit. In order to stabilize and strengthen the connection between a person and his/her zanpaktou, one must reach a common standing with his/her zanpaktou. **

**That common standing is, of course, the Inner World. The Inner World is the individual's spiritual subconscious, the area of the brain that takes up ninety percent of our thought capacity. The subconscious, as of yet, is still quite a mystery to scientists in both the spiritual and living, physical world. Recent studies have shown, however, that each person's spiritual world lies within our subconscious thoughts and is, in fact, the replica of ourselves. The Inner World reflects our personalities, our feelings, our beliefs, and our ambitions. The zanpaktou lies within the Inner World, living within that space in our mind the moment the beings with the potential to have spirit energy is born and lies there until the holder is fully aware of such Inner World.**

**This chapter holds the steps to reaching that common ground, the Inner World. Follow the steps and you will achieve success!**

**(P.S. – Do not be discouraged if not successful first try. It takes great concentration, focus, and will to complete the bridge from the conscious mind to the subconscious.)**

**1. It is utterly significant and important to have Nature play a part in your surroundings.**

Rukia thought that the wind and the sounds outside was good enough.

**2. Seclude yourself in a closed-off surrounding by at least twenty feet.**

Leaping from her sitting position, Rukia glanced outside the walkway and across her room to look into the hallway inside the mansion to find that her markers and the guards she had set up were still in place. When they were, Rukia closed the shoji door and continued on.

**3. Drink chamomile tea to calm the senses and relax the mind.**

**4. To relax the body and clear the mind, do warm up exercises for approximately half an hour.**

**5. When in position, make sure to balance the sheath on top of her head (a symbol of absolute trust between wielder and the zanpaktou).**

Rukia glanced at the floor to find her sheath lying underneath the table.

"So that's where I went wrong!"

Placing the book on her table, Rukia eagerly grabbed the sheath and went back into position. She blatantly ignored the screaming muscles in her lower back as she painfully sat as straight as possible in order to keep the sheath steadied on her head.

Rukia momentarily glared at the space before her. "YOSH! It'll work for sure, this time!"

An hour later, Rukia moaned into the hard, wooden floor, her stomach pulsing uncomfortably.

"NANI!?" she wailed in despair. "Why won't it work!?"

Snatching the innocent book, Rukia glared holes into the guide. "This is my seventh time trying! It surely can't be this hard just to reach my inner world! Who the hell wrote this anyway…" she grumbled under her breath. Eyes narrowed, the Kuchiki flipped to the back of the book to look at the publications.

Her actions stilled and the blood mysteriously washed away from her face.

**The publication of this guide and its contents belong solely to its chief creator and publisher, Madarame Ikkaku, the third seat, and the editor, Ayasegawa Yumichika, the fifth seat within the Eleventh Division headed by the strongest taichou of all Seireitei: Zaraki Kenpachi!**

**(P.S. – THIS GUIDE HOLDS 100 PERCENT CHANCE OF FAILURE! GOT YA, RUKIA-CHAN!)**

In the corner was a small drawing of a certain bald-headed man and his feminine, beauty-obsessed counterpart.

It was too much for her to handle.

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!?" her scream, without a doubt, awoke all of the inhabitants of the Kuchiki Estate.

Rukia savagely tore the guide apart with her bare hands, her teeth gritted harshly.

"_I'M GOING TO KILL THEM!_"

-

-

Within the Eleven Division barracks in his hammock, a certain shiny, bald-headed man awoke from his slumber with an undignified snort. Yawning widely, Ikkaku stretched and rubbed away sleep's grasp from his eyes. Scratching his head and looking out the window to find that it was sunrise, Ikkaku idly wondered why he woke up so early, considering the fact that he had gotten himself wasted the night prior.

However, a sudden chill ran down the man's spine. All of a sudden, the third seat felt his sixth sense, the "killing" sense, going off the haywire. With a large and insane grin, Ikkaku leaped up into a standing position in his hammock, causing it to sink and hit the unfortunate face of the man below him.

"ORA, ORA!" he shrieked, viciously awakening all of the slumbering men within the barracks. "I can't wait to battle the holder of such hatred! Extend, Houzukimaru!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, YA BASTARD!" grunted a man close by. The statement followed with more crude comments from surrounding men.

Ikkaku's excited grin suddenly wreaked with malicious intent. His left eye twitched.

"Come again?"

Much, much too early for the inhabitants of Seireitei, the Eleventh Division barracks exploded into an uproar of cussing, fists, and sword fights.

In her futon within the fourth division, Unohana Retsu-yontaichou glared at the ceiling of her bedroom with uncharacteristic hatred for the normally kind and sweet taichou.

_How __**dare**__ they wake me up this early…_

-

-

Rukia calmly waltzed away from the Eleventh Division barracks, although the tension in her shoulders belied the anger still fuming away underneath the stoic placidity. Those imbeciles had taken advantage of her in her time of need for their own sick amusement. Going to such lengths of fooling her with a well-thought out guide that only a true wielder who had all ready established their link with their zanpaktou would have noticed for a scam right away was far beyond average, even for them.

To think that she had followed every single damn word they wrote, to think that she hadn't actually questioned the reason WHY they had gone out of their way to go to the LIBRARY to find her a book, hadn't even thought of what their usually mediocre minds would have created, and to think she hadn't at least thought to look for the validity of its content before foolishly and hard-headedly following every word. It shamed her, truly it did.

Rukia scowled. At least a swift kick to the center of their universe had rectified as to WHO was the laughing stock.

Assholes, the both of them.

Well, at least she wouldn't get in trouble with Zaraki-taichou. He had only laughed when unexpectedly walking in when she had delivered their punishment.

It still sucked though; she was back to where she began.

Sighing, she placed a hand on the hilt of her zanpaktou and gazed at it with a contemplative expression.

_What do I do now?_

Rukia glanced up at the sky to still find it early. The sun had yet to fully stop touching the horizon. Calculating how much time she had left before heading back to the Thirteenth Division for another day of work, Rukia concluded that she had at least two hours before time to go back. Just enough time to train a little. As she walked through Seireitei to the Thirteenth Division's training grounds, Rukia thought back to the guide and how close she had been to touching her inner world. It was so heartbreaking to feel so close and yet so far apart from her zanpaktou.

Why wouldn't it connect with her? Why wouldn't it acknowledge her? Was there something she was supposed to do? What? What? What?

She couldn't believe she was having such a hard time with her zanpaktou; how did people like Ikkaku, Yumichika, and Matsumoto-fukutaichou achieve communication with their zanpaktou? Neither of them looked to be the serious, meditation type; none of them had the patience, the drive, and for Yumichika's argument, the will to overstress and cause wrinkles. So how did they connect with their zanpaktou?

Reaching the clearing, she pulled out her zanpaktou. The blade shined briefly against the sun as she angled it away from her, parts of her face reflecting back at her from its surface. Rukia's eyes widened as she saw another person's reflection flash within her blade as well.

"Nani…?"

Rukia whirled around, heart thumping loudly. She blinked when finding no one there. Rukia frowned. Wasn't there someone there? Or was she just being paranoid? Shaking her head, Rukia turned back to where she was facing. Spreading her legs, Rukia lowered herself into the beginning position of kendo with her sword held within both of her hands. Closing her eyes briefly, Rukia allowed Kaien-dono's calm, smooth voice instruct her how to move her body, instructing how much force to use and how her body needed to familiarize with her actions. With a small, half step, she lunged forward with a small "hah" and a sharp, downward sweep. Quickly, she stepped back with her feet moving in synch and gave another small "hah" and a downward swipe. She repeated the process, allowing her arms to move up and down, her back straight and uncomfortable. She stood onto the balls of her feet.

However, Rukia quickly dropped her arms and stance with a pain-filled grunt. She absently rubbed the ache in her shoulders and inwardly pondered why Kaien-dono's exercises were now so much harder to get through. In the beginning they had been a mild irritation, but now they were a full-blown pain in the ass. It was like her whole body was rebelling against the movements, like as if she was supposed to move in some other way. There was absolutely nothing wrong with Kaien-dono's style of fighting; he had looked so majestic, so in control and so strong with the way he fought the way he did. And Rukia wasn't stupid, she knew that the basics that he was teaching her, weren't the same ones used within the Shinigami Academy. He was teaching her HIS style, his moves. But why were they so hard?

Uncertainly, she glanced at her katana and almost felt a _pulse_ in the center of her navel, pulling her to do something…but what?

Closing her eyes, Rukia made a silent decision. Grasping the hilt firmly with both hands, she relaxed her body and finally followed the tiny voice she _thought_ she could hear from time to time, whispering gently into her ear with instructions and hints.

And slowly, Rukia unknowingly began to find her way.

-

-

A pair of electric blue eyes smiled with a sense of warmth they hadn't known for millennia.

"She's learning."

* * *

Author's Note:

I'm so sorry it took so long! To tell you guys the truth, I would have had this out THREE DAYS after the last chapter I had uploaded when I got the stupid idea that "hey, I need to store this on my USB so that I still have it incase my laptop crashes!" and what do ya know, my stupid USB didn't upload my third chapter of Akuen AND a lot of my anime pictures that I had saved. So I essentially lost my fifteen-sixteen pages of writing and pictures that I loved. Insert sarcastic, happy face.

After gathering some will, I decided to give it another try after fruitless search for my chapter. After nearly ten pages of writing, I decided to go to bed, woke up the next morning to try again, only to find that my computer froze and had to restart and for some reason, erased the file again.

This was my third and hopefully LAST try at this chapter. YOSH!

Sorry that this chapter wasn't exciting as it SHOULD have been. I had initially intentioned for Rukia to finally learn Sode no Shirayuki's name, but uh, my fingers started typing away with a whole new concept of getting Rukia to learn her zanpaktou's name. So HOPEFULLY it will be in the next chapter. But at least I gave you guys some Kaien, right?? Me encanta Kaien! lol

THANKS YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! SQUEE!

And I laughed at one of the reviewers who mentioned (cough cough) that polygamy is so much better. I totally agree (insert blush) but, sadly, Byakuya and Kaien are both hard-headed independent MEN so they won't share Rukia, , pity.

Until next time!


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